It's been a few days since you've seen your girlfriend, only it feels as though it has been a couple of years. Dealing with intense longing takes a lot of energy, so it can be useful to have some outlets for your feelings. If you feel as though you're coming out of your skin from pining for your girlfriend, aim your feelings in a positive -- and distracting -- direction.
Write Her a Letter
The famed Victorian poets Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote 585 love letters to one another during a year and a half period immediately preceding their marriage. It's safe to say that those letters helped to keep their love alive during a time when men and women were not encouraged to spend time alone with one another. When you're missing your girlfriend, get out a sheet of paper and write down your feelings and dreams. Write about your day. Ask her about hers. Remind her of the great time you both had at the beach. Not only will you get your mind off your loneliness, but she'll appreciate your thoughtful sharing. When you send a letter instead of dashing off a quick text, you create a lasting treasure that is a record of your loving feelings.
Craft Her a Gift
Put the time you aren't spending with your girlfriend to good use by making her something special. Putting thought and effort into a gift can make you feel more connected to the receiver, according to a 2012 study published in the "Journal of Experimental Psychology." Go find a sturdy stick in the yard and carve her a wooden bunny rabbit. Make her a playlist to upload to her MP3 player the next time you see her. Make her a bracelet with her name on it. When you channel your affection into a task or physical object, it becomes extra special. She'll be delighted to receive the fruit of your efforts.
Do Something Special for Yourself
Direct your mind's focus away from your girlfriend by doing something nice for yourself. This strategy is especially helpful if you're experiencing particularly intense feelings, according to a 2011 research report published in "Psychological Science." Call up a friend and see if he wants to go catch a concert, or grab your bike and go for a long scenic ride. Take advantage of having more time alone to finally start a mediation practice, or work out more. Take rock-climbing lessons at the gym. You'll feel better while you're becoming a more interesting person -- one who doesn't spend his days sitting at home in a state of lament.
Sit With Your Feelings
Sometimes, it's best to simply sit with your feelings of longing rather than trying to distract yourself or reconnect with your girlfriend. When you try to get rid of a difficult feeling, you're framing it as a problem, notes the ACCESS Family Care Community Health Center on its website. Instead of trying to "fix" the feeling of missing your girlfriend, take a few deep, slow breaths and think about how much you care about her and how thankful you are to have her in your life. After all, that's likely what your feelings are telling you.
- ACCESS Family Care Community Health Center: Sitting With Uncomfortable Feelings
- Baylor University: The Browning Letters
- Journal of Experimental Psychology -- General: Exaggerated, Mispredicted, and Misplaced -- When “It’s the Thought That Counts” in Gift Exchanges
- Psychological Science: Emotion-Regulation Choice
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