How to Make an Old Relationship Feel Like New

You can keep excitement and allure in your relationship.
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It’s natural for a long-term relationship to feel a bit too predictable from time to time. You care for your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you treasure the comfort level that evolves, but you find yourself reminiscing about when your relationship was new. It’s okay to miss the butterflies, giddiness and anticipation that accompanied your early dating experiences with your partner. If your old relationship feels like a part of your daily routine, interject some novelty to transform a boring routine into a brand new perspective.

1 Tell Your Partner He's Great

Perhaps it’s time to turn the page on an old habit to renew your old relationship. It’s easy to give your undivided attention to your partner’s annoying habits and to ignore the unselfish, loving behavior that you appreciate. Strengthen and renew your relationship by regularly expressing gratitude for the plethora of positive qualities your partner exhibits, recommends psychologist Darby Saxbe in the Psychology Today article, “10 Ways to Perk Up Your Relationship.” Center your appreciation on your partner, not the event. For example, say to your partner, “You were so thoughtful to bring my favorite granola snack,” rather than saying, “I can never find my favorite brand at that grocery store.”

2 Appreciate Your Partner -- Even as Time Marches On

Recognize that you and your partner will continue to change over time and how you choose to respond to those changes can influence your relationship. Your relationship cannot remain static, because you and your partner continue to evolve. Stop to think about how you have changed from the first time you met your partner, and how your partner has changed, as well. Learning to appreciate your “new” partner can add excitement to your relationship.

3 Date Your Partner

Whether you are married or single, be sure to enjoy special couple time each week that you have reserved for nothing else and no one else, suggests in “Married Couples, Don’t Forget to Date.” Your first dates were not marred by the challenges related to school, a job or family stress. As you grow to know one another, the stressful effects associated with everyday life invariably enter your relationship. Your special time is not restricted to dinner and a movie. For example, enjoy a new hobby together, or volunteer to work on a project that you are both passionate about.

4 Celebrate Your Relationship and Your Partner

When your relationship was still young, learning about your partner’s positive attributes, and celebrating new successes was a source of mutual satisfaction. You also learned that you could depend on your partner to cushion the impact of life’s obstacles, and to function as a source of support when needed. Somewhere in the process of learning to reciprocate your partner’s support in challenging times, you may forget how to celebrate the large and small successes in your partner’s life. Do it with enthusiasm to infuse your relationship with a renewed positive vitality.