How to Not Have an Awkward Conversation While Asking a Girl Out

Look your best when you approach her.
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Asking a girl out could make you feel a little fearful, especially if you spend more time thinking that she will turn you down than believing in your ability to get her to say “yes.” If you’ve done a little homework, you can know whether she'll be receptive to your request before you ask and avoid an awkward conversation in the process.

1 Do Your Homework

Reduce the fear and awkwardness of asking a girl out by gauging her interest, suggests former "Psychology Today" intern Jen Kim, in “The Nice Girl's Guide to Asking a Guy Out.” Ask her friend if she likes you, or knows who you are. If she doesn't, spend time in groups or activities she enjoys to let her get to know you before asking her out. Additionally, her friend could clue you in on where she likes to go, what she likes to eat and other key data. Her social media pages hold additional clues. If you know that she would love to attend a specific concert, you have a head start in getting an enthusiastic response over a vague request with no specific plan in mind.

2 Practice Your Pitch

Know what you want to say before you ask her. Practice in front of a mirror or enlist a girl you trust to listen to your pitch and give you some pointers. Stand up straight with your shoulders back and a smile on your face, looking her in the eye. Go for simple and to the point such as, “Would you like to go with me to the band concert this weekend?”

3 Use a Wingman

Enlist a buddy to go with you when you ask her out, especially if she’s with friends. Your buddy can build you up by talking about your best qualities or why you're great date material before you enter the group, asserts Love Systems founder and dating coach trainer Nick Savoy, in “Use a Wingman to Get the Girl.” Additionally, you and your friend can interact with each other during your invitation, making it less awkward than when you are there by yourself. He can suggest that he’s hungry or wants to do something, and you can agree and ask her if she and her friend would like to join you for a casual group date.

4 Firm Up the Plans

Be clear about the details when you ask her. Say, “I’ll pick you up at (time and place) and have you home by (end time).” Give her your number so she can contact you if there’s a problem. Get her contact info so you can do the same. Thank her for agreeing to go out with you and then tell her you need to be somewhere so you aren’t standing there trying to find something to say.

Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.