How to Ask for a Girl's Number in Front of Her Friends

Approach your crush and her friend with a carefree, confident smile.
... Michael Blann/Digital Vision/Getty Images

You're out at the local coffee house, club or community event and you see the cute girl from your chem class across the room. You've been waiting for what seems like ages to ask her out and you finally have gotten up the courage to confront your crush. The only problem is that she's surrounded by a circle of her friends. Asking a girl for her phone number in front of her pals may make your palms sweat, but isn't impossible.

Wait for an opportune time to break into her discussion. Don't interrupt a conversation that she's having with her friends. If the group of girls is huddled together in a serious-looking conversation, wait until they take a break. Look and listen for ok-to-enter signals such as a lull in the conversation or other people coming in to their group.

Gather your courage. Approaching your crush, especially when she's surrounded by her friends, may seem scary. Put your fears aside and think positively about yourself before you start talking.

Speak assertively. Find a balance between being shy and pushy. Approaching the girl as the shy guy might not get you what you want. Acting overly confident may make her, and her friends, skeptical of your intentions.

Direct your attention to the object of your affection. Avoid glancing around at the other girls surrounding her. Keep your eye contact constant, making it clear that you are interested in her. Even if you can feel her friends' stares, make the girl feel like she's the only one in the room. This will also help you to focus on the task at hand.

Use your body to your advantage. This doesn't mean that you should show off your abs or flex for her. Lean in as you speak and point your feet towards her as positive body language signs.

Ask for what you want. Keep in mind that she's hanging out with her friends now, and not you. Avoid a lengthy lead-up or a prolonged discussion. Make it short and sweet, allowing her to get back to her buddies without delay. For example, try an approach such as, "I wanted to say hi and get your number." Follow this with a brief reason such as, "I've got tickets to a concert next weekend and thought you might like to go with me."

Respect her friends. Smile and say hi before or after you ask. If a friend mocks you or rolls her eyes about your very public ask, don't taunt her back. Focus yourself on your goal and ignore any of her friends' unwanted gestures.

Take out your cell and put her number into your phone immediately. Don't try to remember it on the spot.

  • Don't run away after you get her number. Thank her and tell her that you'll give her a call soon.
  • Take a light-hearted approach. Avoid acting overly serious or stern. If the girl seems nervous too, joke with her friends or ask one of them to ask for you.
  • If you know that you'll see the girl ahead of time, practice before you get into the social situation. Imagine what you will say to the girl and to her friends.
  • Try a cute exit strategy. After you put her number into your phone, quickly text her with a smiley face or "have a nice night" message. She can share this with her friends, showing them what a sweet guy you are.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.