What If the Guy You Date Works a Lot & Can't Call You?
Relationship success requires effort from both partners. In almost all relationships, external factors such as family, school and work will present challenges to the time you spend together as a couple; it can be difficult to find the right balance. If your guy is too busy with work to call, you must find alternatives to interacting and building intimacy. A relationship that can move with the tides and be flexible in managing difficulties can be a fulfilling experience for both partners.
1 Focus on Self
Having an identity separate from the identity you share with your partner is important to develop a strong sense of self. Focus on a favorite hobby. Play a sport. Make plans with your girlfriends. Read that book that you have been meaning to read. Get up to date on current events. Focus on your studies or put in extra time at work. Get involved with activities that are enjoyable and fulfilling for you, suggests marriage consultant and author Melissa Orlov on "Psychology Today" online; you will become more accomplished and well-rounded. This may even present you with new and interesting things to share with your boyfriend when you do get together. As an added bonus, keeping busy makes it less likely you'll feel lonely from missing your guy too much.
2 Schedule Time Together
Plan set times for face-to-face dates in the same way that you would for any other appointment or meeting, recommends Margarita Tartakovsky, MS, on Psych Central. Block out the most appropriate days for dates, whether it's the weekend or in the middle of the week between school and work. Work out a schedule together of the most appropriate times to call or send text messages; you do not want him to lose his focus on his job. Knowing his schedule will also prevent you from feeling neglected if he does not take your call.
3 Stick to the Positives
With his busy schedule, you may both feel as if you are not getting enough of the other or worry about the health of the relationship. It is therefore important to keep a positive attitude. Focus on the bright side of things and not so much on all that you are unable to do. Find light-hearted or funny things to talk about, writes Orlov. Talk about things that are relaxing and that you can both laugh about, such as the latest happenings on your favorite show or your plans for an upcoming long weekend. Humor and positive thinking can help you to cope during difficult times.
4 Support Him
Be a good support not just as a girlfriend but also as a friend. A true partner should make herself available in the good times as well as when things are difficult or a bit challenging. Be understanding of how challenging it must be for him to be working that hard, especially while balancing a relationship and school. Remember too that he may also have to fit in time to bond with his family and friends. Get comfortable sharing him with the other people he cares for.