How to Convince My Long-Term Boyfriend That Long Distance Relationships Work

Look forward to reuniting in the future.
... Jupiterimages/Polka Dot/Getty Images

Engaging in a long-distance relationship is taboo for many people. These types of relationships can be challenging to maintain. Your boyfriend’s lack of enthusiasm about maintaining your relationship long distance is quite understandable. However, despite the potential challenges, there are couples who manage to preserve strong bonds despite being far apart. Before making a major decision on your relationship, there are several exercises that you can engage in which may help your boyfriend see the benefits of a long-distance relationship.

1 Accentuate the Positives

Make a list of all the positives that distance will bring to your relationship. In this respect, highlight all the benefits that one or both individuals can gain from a long-distance relationship, states Terri Orbuch, better known as "The Love Doctor." Dr.Orbuch suggests that you each try to find at least three benefits, such as the prospects of making more money to improve your quality of life, enjoying more personal time to develop a skill or focus on a hobby and also appreciating that time apart can help deter you from taking each other for granted.

2 Set Future Goals for the Relationship

A successful long-distance relationship will require a high level of commitment from both partners. You and your boyfriend must honestly identify how far you see the relationship progressing and set goals to make that a reality. Make plans for how you will communicate while apart, how often, on what occasions and where you will meet up to see each other in person. You can also benefit from setting more long-term goals focusing on the nature of the relationship after the separation of distance is over.

3 Deeper Communication

A long-distance relationship can offer the the opportunity for more intimacy and depth of communication between you and your boyfriend. You can highlight how social media and messaging services offered on smartphones and over the internet has widened the possibility of communication. One study conducted by L. Crystal Jiang and Jeffrey T. Hancock found that individuals in long-distance relationships experienced greater intimacy as they tended to share more affection more frequently. These couples can keep in touch continually throughout the day. The research uncovered that you can be more focused during a video call than when conversing in person.

4 Maintain Passion

You can both enjoy coming up with creative ways to stimulate passion in the relationship. The likelihood of traveling to new places should add an extra element of intrigue. Dr. Orbuch suggests making plans to nurture a physical connection by sending packages with special items that you know the other would like, such as recordings of your mutually favorite songs, or creative love letters. You can also have virtual date nights over a video call.

Latoya Newman is a novelist who wrote and published her first novel in 2012. She has a background in education, research and counseling. She taught at the elementary level for eight years, and has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from York University in Toronto, Canada.