How To Deal With a Boyfriend in a Fraternity

Even though your boyfriend will be busy with his fraternity and school, he will still have time for you.
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When your boyfriend pledged his loyalty to a fraternity, you wondered whether this might affect your relationship. You worried that his fraternity obligations would diminish the time he had to spend with you. But with open communication and understanding, it is possible to deal with a fraternity boyfriend and come out as a stronger couple.

1 Setting Expectations

If you are worried he won't spend enough time with you, tell him. If you aren't sure how you fit in with his Greek life, ask him. Be direct and honest with your questions and polite and understanding with your responses. Telling him your needs may make him aware of a potential issue within your relationship. Give him a chance to reassure you that everything will be OK despite his Greek affiliations.

2 Spending Time Together

Your boyfriend will be busy with recruitment meetings and charitable events with his fraternity, but setting aside one date night a week ensures you have time to build upon your personal relationship. Choose activities that make you both laugh, suggests psychologist Amie Gordon in the Psychology Today article, "Four Ways To Keep Your Relationship Alive." Attend a comedic theatrical production put on by the college or play a board game. Humor brings two people closer together and helps solve minor disagreements.

3 Supporting His Fraternity

Support your boyfriend's fraternity by attending social and philanthropic events. Be sure you check with your boyfriend before showing up, rather than assuming non-fraternity members are welcome. Celebrate with him when his fraternity wins the Greek Olympics or is recognized by the university for good behavior or community involvement. Gordon believes that recognizing and celebrating your partner's accomplishments leads to a happier, more fulfilled relationship.

4 Additional Considerations

Keep an open mind about your boyfriend's Greek affiliation. Welcome the change and consider the benefits that may ensue rather than focusing on the possible negatives. You have the opportunity to meet men and women through social activities planned by his fraternity. But if your boyfriend is part of a fraternity where drinking and partying is the culture and you feel unsafe around his fraternity brothers, end the relationship. Your safety, comfort and security is more important than staying with a party animal.

Based in Texas, Lucie Westminster has been a writer and researcher since 1975. Her work has been published in journals such as "Psychological Reports" and "Journal of Verbal Learning and Verbal Behavior." Westminster's interests include developmental psychology, children, pets and crafting. She holds a Ph.D. in psychology from Miami University.