Your eyes locked over the red keg cup and that was it. He's the one and you both know it. Now what? It is possible to develop and maintain an intimate relationship with your fraternity brother. You just have to be willing to deal with the extra baggage and complications. But with a little planning your relationship can flourish.
A fraternity romance has its own complications. You are living, working, studying and partying together. You get to spend a ton of time together, which is great. But if you break up, you still get to spend a ton of time together, which could be not so great. Can you both handle it if things don't work out long term? Discuss the possibilities before moving forward. If you don't think you could stomach seeing your ex every morning, you might want to reconsider. Dating your fraternity brother is kind of like an office romance -- if the office had a Kegerator and you lived there, that is. Either way, you need to consider the impact you may have on the "office" and conduct yourselves accordingly.
Give and Get Respect
Same-sex relationships are finally gaining the rights and acceptance they deserve, but you still may be in the first openly gay relationship within your fraternity. You didn't necessarily choose to be the pioneers, but if you are, it would be wise to take it seriously. You don't have to hide your relationship, but it's not necessary to flaunt it either. Make sure that your relationship does not interfere with the needs of the fraternity, and definitely keep any relationship drama to yourselves. Don't ask your brothers to get involved or take sides during an argument. Show your fraternity brothers that you are in a serious relationship that deserves respect. You may be setting a standard -- for yourselves and for future brothers.
Maintaining a relationship within the confines of a fraternity can be difficult -- close quarters, lots of brothers and lots of events. Odds are, you don't often have time to be alone. Make your relationship a priority and take time for just the two of you. Leave the fraternity and go on actual dates. If you can swing it, consider booking a hotel room for the night and just enjoy one another without any distractions. Dating within a fraternity can be a tricky balance; make sure that your relationship gets the time and attention it deserves.
Ideally your fraternity brothers will accept your relationship without any problems or conflict -- but despite progress toward equal rights for all, homophobia still exists. If you experience hateful words or actions that make you feel unsafe, know where to go for help. Talk to your fraternity's leaders if your environment feels hostile. See how they can help. You can also talk to a counselor, together or apart, to discuss the situation with a neutral party. Most universities offer counseling services to students without additional fees.
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