How to Avoid Getting Stuck in a Routine in Relationships

Engage in active conversations instead of just sitting silently with your mate.
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Day after day your mornings, noons and nights feature identical wake-up texts, lunches in the cafeteria or on the quad, cozy dinners together and quick goodnight kisses. If your relationship reads more as regulation than romance, it is likely that you are stuck in a routine. Before your relationship falls into a rut, switch your schedule and turn up the creativity to reignite your romance.

1 Who Cares Who's At Fault

If you think that your relationship's rut is your guy's fault, it is likely that you'll continue on the path to getting stuck. Placing the blame on your partner is a form of relationship procrastination, according to clinical psychologist Bill Knaus in his article "Stop Procrastinating and Get Out of Your Love Rut" on the Psychology Today website. Instead of pointing fingers or saying, "He just doesn't care if we're boring, so why should I?" take charge. Staying put and blaming one another won't move your relationship forward and may make falling into a rut inevitable.

2 Enjoy Time With Each Other

Do you just assume that she'll want to watch football with you on Sundays or go to the same diner every day after school? Think about what your partner enjoys doing. Take her on dates that are exciting, new or different. For example, instead of going to the movies every Saturday afternoon with your snow-loving girlfriend, take her skiing or act like little kids and go sledding in your backyard.

3 Step By Step

Worrying that your relationship will turn routine doesn't mean that you have to make a dramatic departure from what you are already doing. Taking small steps to change your thinking can have a powerful impact on your relationship, according to author and counselor Lynn A. Robinson in her article "The Small Step Action Plan" on the PsychCentral website. Instead of making an overhaul to your schedule, each day ask yourself what you -- or your partner -- could do differently. Instead of staying in for dinner, go out for a night at the movies with your guy and your group of friends.

4 Future Finder

Figuring out what you want for the future can help to shape your days and prevent you from falling into a routine. Make a list of what you want for yourself when it comes to education, career, friendships and your romantic relationship. Share this with your partner, asking him to do the same. Use your future goals to change and direct how you live your daily lives. For example, if you want go to law school, spending every night with your guy watching TV won't get you there. Focusing on the future may change how the two of you interact and what you do when you're together.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.