How Can I Stop Obsessing Over a Guy Who Doesn't Even Notice Me?

Getting over an unrequited love can be tough.
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It can hurt when the person you are attracted to doesn’t return your feelings, particularly when he doesn't even seem to know you exist. When you feel your efforts to get his attention are unsuccessful and you’re ready to move on, understand that letting go can be hard but is not impossible.

1 Unhealthy Obsession

Obsessing over somebody can be an addiction, according to the “Psychology Today” post “Obsession” by Alex Lickerman, M.D. It is really bad when you find that you’re neglecting other responsibilities for your obsession. For example, your crush is unhealthy if your infatuation with him is occupying your mind to the point where you can’t concentrate on school work. An obsession, especially when it’s unrequited love, can increase feelings of rejection, loneliness and insecurity.

2 Distract Yourself

When you start to have obsessive thoughts about your crush, distract yourself by thinking of something else. Doing homework, watching a movie with friends or going to the gym can help distract you and also remind you that there are other enjoyable things besides thinking of your crush. Start working toward an achievable goal, such as learning a new language or running a half marathon.

3 Set Limits

In the YourTango article “How to Stop Obsessing Over a Guy You Like,” Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, suggests scheduling a short amount time dedicated to thinking about the object of your affections. For example, give yourself 20 minutes when you come home from school to think about him. After that 20 minutes is up, get on with your day. If you start to think about the guy outside of your scheduled time, change the topic of your thoughts and tell yourself you’ll think about him during the next scheduled time.

4 Get a Reality Check

Fantasizing and daydreaming can feed your obsession. When you start to think about dating or marrying your crush, ask your friends to help bring you back to reality. Friends can help you see clearly by gently reminding you that your dreams may not come true. If your friends tell you that they are worried your obsession is bad for you, listen to them. Although this may not be what you want to hear, your friends have your best interest in mind.

Sarah Casimong is a Vancouver-based writer with a Bachelor's degree in journalism from Kwantlen Polytechnic University. She writes articles on relationships, entertainment and health. Her work can be found in the "Vancouver Observer", "Her Campus" and "Cave Magazine".