Falling in love too fast can be fatal to a relationship. Such intense feelings early in a relationship can be frightening to your partner, causing her to pull away from you. The feelings are likely based on a fantasy, rather than reality, and when reality sets in, the disappointment can be devastating.
Ignoring Warning Behaviors
Falling in love too quickly can cause you to ignore behaviors from your significant other that would otherwise be unacceptable, writes psychologist LeslieBeth Wish, in “How Do I Stop Falling in Love So Quickly?” Whether the behavior is not listening or verbal or physical abuse, you should pay attention to behavior that makes you feel badly. This is how he acts when he is trying to impress you -- this behavior will likely only get worse over time.
When you make another person the center of your world, writes Wish, you may be falling in love too fast. Thinking about and wanting to do things only with her are signs that things may be moving faster than is healthy for the relationship. Make sure that you continue with your usual activities. Keep up with your hobbies and your friendships. Don’t put the rest of your life aside for this person.
Moving Too Quickly
Talking about far-off future plans or moving in together at the beginning of a relationship are red flags that things are moving too fast, writes Wish. You are still getting to know him and are at the stage where the two of you are determining if you are compatible -- deciding your future at this point isn’t realistic.
Fulfilling Unmet Needs
In her Huffington Post article “The Psychology of Falling in Love,” psychologist Roya Rad suggests that the reason why you are entering into a relationship could be a sign that you are at risk of falling in love too quickly. Entering a relationship to escape something -- memories of a past relationship, fear, insecurity or loneliness -- or as an attempt to fulfill unmet needs within yourself may set you up for a relationship that moves too fast.
Starting a physical relationship too quickly can alter the connection you have with your significant other, writes Carlin Flora in her Psychology Today article “Singles: Patterns of Pursuit.” Sex causes the brain to release oxytocin, a bonding chemical, which can make you feel a deeper connection to your partner than your relationship may justify. It can make you have stronger feelings than you should have given how well you know the person at this point. Hold off on the physical relationship until an emotional connection is established.
Making Him Responsible
Making him responsible for your happiness is a sign of dependence, which can mean that you are falling in love too fast, writes Flora. When you put the expectation on him to make you happy, the relationship tends to be filled with resentment and disappointment when that doesn’t happen. When individuals take responsibility for themselves and their own success and happiness, relationships tend to be healthier and last longer.
Falling into the Same Old Patterns
Flora notes that if you find yourself falling into the same patterns that you’ve been in before, you may be falling in love, once again, too quickly. People have a tendency to choose to date similar types of people because those types are familiar. It’s easy to fall in love with what is familiar. However, if past relationships with similar people didn’t work, there’s a chance this one won’t either. Figure out what it was about past relationships that didn’t work and try something new.
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