You love Facebook because it gives you another way to connect with friends and family. Your boyfriend probably loves it for the same reason, but the advent of social networking also opens doors for connections to be made which could threaten your relationship. When secrecy and emotional attachment is involved, even when no physical connection has been made, most women consider it a betrayal, according to a 2010 study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology. Could your boyfriend be using Facebook to cheat on you?
Trust your gut. If you have a sinking feeling that your boyfriend is doing something he shouldn’t be, online or otherwise, don’t simply brush those feelings aside. There is a reason you are now feeling distrustful, and it is worth exploring further to find answers.
Pay attention to his computer behavior. If your boyfriend always seems quick to close out of a screen when you come near, it might be an indication that he has something to hide, according to Charles Orlando, author and relationship expert, in the Your Tango article “10 Tell-Tale Signs That He’s Cheating.”
Review his Facebook page, looking for clues that he may be talking to girls you do not know. Ask questions about girls who seem to be commenting on his page or “liking” many of the posts he shares. Avoid being overly accusatory, and instead say things like “Hey, who is that Ashley girl who is always writing sweet things on your wall? I don’t think I’ve ever met her before.”
Avoid the urge to investigate. Discovering Facebook infidelity sometimes comes from Facebook pages being accidentally left open, according to research out of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at Texas Tech University. While you might be tempted to snoop if you find his open page, violating his privacy will only create further trust issues between you.
Remain discerning about what you are looking at. Remember that simply having female friends does not mean he is cheating. Pay attention to the tone of his interactions and look for concrete evidence that he has been unfaithful online.
Confront him about your suspicions and watch for body language clues. If he looks at the floor or becomes visibly upset or aggressive, he may be trying to distract from the cheating. Continue listening to your gut and trust yourself to recognize the difference between truth and fiction.
- Consider how far you want to go in snooping. There are programs available which will allow you to track his keystrokes and gain his passwords, but think about the kind of relationship you want to be in. If you have to go that far to catch him, is there really enough trust left in your relationship for it to be stable and thriving?
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