How to Make Her Want You -- Ways to Spark Attraction in a Woman

Show interest without coming on too strong.
... Digital Vision./Photodisc/Getty Images

Perhaps a woman in your class has caught your eye, or you've got your heart set on a woman you've seen on campus. You want to pique her interest but aren't quite sure how to go about it. Trying to spark attraction in a woman can be nerve-wracking, but showing self-confidence and being yourself can go a long way.

1 Maintain Mystery

A great way to spark attraction in a woman is to avoid being overeager when pursuing her, says Mark Sherman, a psychologist and author of "How to Attract Women" on the "Psychology Today" website. For instance, if you approach a woman with a cheesy pickup line, it can work against you and be a turnoff for her. Instead, say little, which will portray you as a "man of mystery," and women will be drawn to you, Sherman says. When you do initially interact with a woman, keep it simple by greeting her with "Hello" or "Hi."

2 Focus on Her

Actively listening to a woman can increase your awareness of how she feels and what she values, which will make you attractive to her, says Gary Gunn, a professional dating coach and author of "Why Being 'Present' is Key to Communicating With Women -- Attraction Women" on the "Social Attraction" website. Keep your focus on her when she talks, and don't look around the room, check your phone or send out text messages. Maintaining eye contact is a key way to spark attraction, Gunn says. Give her your undivided attention and make her feel heard.

3 Be You

Don't try to make a woman want you by being someone you're not. For instance, don't pretend that you love running because she does or attest to enjoying a very active social life when you're really a homebody. Show her the "real" you. If you try to come across as someone you're not, a woman will likely see through your act. Being yourself can spark attraction, while pretending you are someone else can be a turnoff.

4 Show Confidence

Confidence in a man can be a surefire way of sparking attraction in a woman. Smile openly. Pay attention to your posture. Stand up straight, put your shoulders back, and don't fidget. Also, be aware of the way that you speak. Speaking clearly without using a hushed tone or stammering is a good way to show self-confidence, says Christy Matta, a trainer in dialectical behavior therapy and author of "10 Signs of a Confident Communicator" on the "Psych Central" website.

Stacey Elkins is a writer based in Chicago. She earned a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Southern Illinois University in Carbondale and a Masters in social work from the University of Illinois in Chicago, where she specialized in mental health.

×