How confident a guy is can be clearly seen in his speech, body language, enduring eye contact, and his encompassing presence in any setting. Even if he is really feeling shy or nervous on the inside, he may still appear comfortable, assertive and at ease. Confidence or having a high self-esteem does not necessitate a guy being the center of attention or the life of the party; but rather, he will have an innate acceptance of who he is.
Taking Up Space
The most immediate physical indicator of confidence is a willingness to take up space. People who lack self-confidence will often try to make themselves smaller. They will hunch over, fold their arms across their chests and place themselves in corners and inconspicuous parts of the room. Evolutionarily, this posture is one of fear and self-preservation. In contrast, confident guys will stand with their chest out and head up. They are comfortable standing in the middle of the room or sitting in the middle of the couch. They will drape their arms over the backs of chairs and stretch their legs out in front of them in an "open" posture, according to the Power Posing research and talks done by social psychologist at the Harvard Business School, Amy Cudd, Ph.D. and her associates.
Relaxed and friendly body language is a tell-tale sign that a guy is confident. Appearing comfortable is more important than appearing intimidating. Leaning back in a chair or leaning against a counter is the position of someone who has relaxed into their environment, rather than looking for excuses to flee. Fidgeting is a clear sign that a man is nervous, while someone who only makes deliberate intentional movements will appear more confident.
Expressions and Eye Contact
Confident guys will make direct eye contact. While a long unblinking stare will put people off, maintaining eye contact for a few seconds shows an individual who is engaged, interested and involved in what you are saying, so says author and consultant, Darlene Price in her book "Well Said!: Presentations and Conversations That Get Results." On most occasions, regular, intermittent eye contact is expected, but may be broken as one looks away to think of something or point something out. Smiling is another physical sign of relaxation and confidence. A confident guy will maintain a gentle smile, even if underneath it all, he feels jittery about being around you. He is able to keep any signs of fear, such as wide eyes, grimaces, flinching and worry lines in check when he interacts with you directly.
There is a lot that is intuited from the way that people talk before even thinking about what they’re saying. When people are relaxed they have more controlled speech. Speaking slowly also makes it easier to speak from your diaphragm, which makes your voice lower and louder. This is how the confident guy will express himself verbally, instead of the nervous way of speaking too quickly, making the voice sound high pitched and squeaky.
- MayoClinic.com: Self-Esteem Check: Too Low, Too High or Just Right?
- Psychological Science: Power Posing: Brief Nonverbal Displays Affect Neuroendocrine Levels and Risk Tolerance
- Well Said!: Presentations and Conversations That Get Results; Darlene Price
- James Woodson/Photodisc/Getty Images