Feeling insecure around boys is normal when you are a teenage girl -- but that doesn't mean you can't overcome your self-doubts. Adolescence is a time when a lot about yourself changes, including your body, and it's easy to fall into the trap of not feeling good enough. Stop comparing yourself to other girls, focus on what you have to offer and your insecurity should start to melt away.
Sometimes insecurity comes from not having enough experience with certain types of situations, as discussed in the American Psychological Association's article, "Developing Adolescents." If you just haven't spent a lot of time talking to boys, it might help to get practice learning how to have a conversation with the opposite sex. The best way to do this is practice -- take a chance and say "Hi" to a guy in the hall, or make a comment to a classmate such as, "What did you think of that test?" Slowly build your confidence by starting out talking to guys you feel more comfortable around, and gradually work up to the ones that make you the most nervous.
Insecurity comes from having a view of yourself that is different than how you would like to be. Perhaps you want to come across as sociable, funny and smart with boys -- but you always end up tongue-tied, with nothing to say and no interesting insights to give. Think about how you can beef up your self-image by prepping ahead of time. Follow the news and current events so that you can make small talk. Try out a few funny stories on your friends that you can share. You should gradually feel your confidence and self-concept improve as you relax and become more yourself around boys.
Your body is constantly changing during the teenage years, which can leave you feeling insecure and not good enough around boys -- especially if you compare yourself to other girls. Everybody grows and develops at different rates, so it is important to focus on being strong and healthy rather than fit an ideal of what you think is attractive, according to the Teens Health article, "Body Image and Self-Esteem." If there are specific things about yourself that you would like to change, such as your hairstyle or clothing, that can help to boost your confidence. At the same time, be careful to value what is unique and interesting about yourself, rather than trying to fit a mold.
On the Inside
Though you might think your insecurity is written across your face, most guys are oblivious when it comes to noticing your nerves. Realize that most of what you feel is hidden inside, and doesn't affect how others perceive you, says author Therese Bouchard, in the Psych Central article, "5 Things to Do When You Feel Insecure." Even if you make mistakes, or say things to yourself such as "He must think I am boring," those are just thoughts that you can control. Start focusing on the positive aspects of situations, and tell yourself things like, "Everybody makes mistakes. I am only human." Be kind to yourself, and realize that you don't have to be perfect to be liked and accepted. Remember also that most teens go through a phase of feeling insecure at some point, and it is completely normal.
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