How to Get My Girlfriend's Mom to Let Her Come Over More

Earn your girlfriend's parents' trust for better dating privileges.
... Hemera Technologies/ Images

When you start dating, it is important for your girlfriend’s parents to know they can trust you. Even if your girlfriend’s parents are comfortable with her dating, they may not want her spending too much time at your house. Dating is a time for learning how to care for and compromise with another person, says Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist with New York’s Presbyterian Hospital, for "The Today Show" website. Respecting your girlfriend and her parent’s rules may help her get more time at your house.

1 Know the Boundaries

Find out all you can about your girlfriend’s “house rules” when it comes to dating so you know when it is OK to ask if she can come to your house. Knowing the boundaries can help you time your request and handle whatever answer the parents give in a mature and respectful way. Psychologist Dr. Phil McGraw encourages parents to use logic and reasoning when setting dating rules. Understand that her parents have rules for a reason, and gaining their respect takes following those rules even when you may not agree with them.

2 Gain Their Trust

Gaining your girlfriend’s parents' trust is crucial if they are going to let her spend more time at your house. Coming in to pick her up rather than waiting in the car, being specific about where you are going, and getting her home before curfew let her parents know that you are a responsible person. The Missouri 4-H Six Pillars of Character reminds teens to think about how their actions affect others and to take responsibility for those actions. Remembering that your actions affect how much trust your girlfriend’s parents place in you will help you make good choices and gain their trust.

3 Group Dynamics

One way to help your girlfriend’s parents feel good about letting her spend more time at your house is by organizing group dates. Group dates take the pressure off of you and your girlfriend and help her parents and yours feel more comfortable about the two of you being together at your house. But remember that peer pressure can be much stronger in groups, says Barbara Whitaker in "Good Housekeeping" magazine. If the kids you include in your group date are doing things that are questionable, your girlfriend may feel uncomfortable speaking up, and she’s likely to tell her parents.

4 House Rules

Sharing your parents' rules and adopting some of her parents' standards can help her parents feel better about letting your girlfriend spend more time at your house. Dr. Phil McGraw encourages teens and parents to set these ground rules: no single dating before age 16, always have an adult present when your girlfriend is at your house, and no spending time in a bedroom unless the door is open. Talk to your girlfriend’s parents about their expectations when she is at your house, and they may be inclined to let her be there more often.

Patti Richards has been a writer since 1990. She writes children’s books and articles on parenting, women's health and education. Her credits include San Diego Family Magazine, Metro Parent Magazine, Boys' Quest Magazine and many others. Richards has a Bachelor of Science in English/secondary education from Welch College.