What to Say When Your Boyfriend Is Mad at His Parents

Suggest that your guy talk calmly to his parents.
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He's huffing and puffing, and he's pointing the finger at his parents for being at fault. When your boyfriend is mad at his parents, he may seem preoccupied or make your time together more about his family drama and less about enjoyable interactions with you. Helping him to solve the problems that he has with his parents can get him to relax and even bring the two of you closer together. Whether Mom and Dad are really to blame or he's being unrealistic in his expectations, finding the right words to calm your guy down and make him see a positive point of view is key.

1 Apology Accepted

If your guy truly wasn't at fault, helping him to accept his parents' apology is a step in the right direction. This doesn't mean that you should tell him to accept their "We're sorry" right away. Forgiveness takes time. Tell your guy that his parents' apology shows that they are admitting their mistakes and making an effort to make amends with him. For example, his mom yelled at him for denting Dad's car, even though he told her it was his older brother who did the damage. When Mom finally realized the truth, she offered a sincere apology. Let your guy know that his mom's apologetic words show that she cares and wants to set things right with their relationship.

2 His Side

When your guy is rightly mad at his parents, staying on is side is a must. Supporting your romantic partner is part of a having a healthy relationship. Show your support for your guy by saying something along the lines of "I know it really hurt your feelings when your parents said that they don't trust you enough to let you go on the after-prom trip." Be there to listen to him and let him know that he can talk to you about his anger anytime that he wants.

3 Other View

Your guy is fuming over the fight that he just got in with parents, but deep down you know that he is the one to blame. While you want to stay in his corner, you can't ignore his bad behavior. Don't lie and say that he's right and they are wrong. Instead, help him to see things from his parents' point of view. For example, if they ground him for coming home late, help him to see that they just want to protect him or that they are worried about him. If you don't feel comfortable assuming what his parents' views are, ask him to think about this on his own. Say something such as, "Why do you think they decided ground you?"

4 The Issues at Hand

Don't let yourself get dragged into your boyfriend's drama or end up feeling like you're at fault too. Keep his issues separate from your relationship, suggests communication coach Preston Ni in his article "8 Keys to Dealing With Problem People" on the Psychology Today website. For example, say something such as "I understand that you're mad at your dad, but that doesn't mean you should yell at me too. I'm here for you as a support, not a punching bag."

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.