Parents and teens often clash over the balance of privileges and responsibilities. Although it might not seem fair that your parents have strict rules for you, they are trying to keep you safe and help you develop a level of responsibility that will allow you to act on your own in the world. You can show your parents that you have earned more freedom by behaving as a responsible, mature member of the family.
Listen to Them
The first step of negotiation is listening. Ask your parents what they need from you in order to feel comfortable giving you more freedom. People feel powerful when they are talking, according to Three Ways To Negotiate About Anything on Forbes.com. Allow your parents to have authority and speak first. This will work to your advantage because you are showing that you can listen without getting angry or talking over them. Just listen and take mental notes. Then, thank them and ask to talk about it further at a later date.
The next step is to do as you are told. Your parents might have expressed concern for your safety, your decision-making skills or your level of responsibility. If they are always nagging you to do your chores, do the chores and the nagging will stop, according to Dr. Phil McGraw's website. Do some extra things without being asked to prove that you are responsible. Keep it up on a regular schedule. Change doesn’t happen overnight. You will have to prove yourself over one month or more.
Ask About Them
Your parents want to feel like a valued and respected part of your life, not just an obstacle in the way of getting what you want. If you want your parents to respect you and give you freedom, show that you care about them as much as they care about you. Sit down and ask sincere questions without an agenda that’s focused on you. Do this often and you will grow closer as a family.
Negotiate for Privileges
When the time comes for you to request more freedom, negotiate calmly with your parents. Being able to ask for something and accept no for an answer without fighting shows maturity. Tell your parents that you have listened to what they need, and point out the ways in which you have exercised more responsibility and maturity over the last few weeks or months. Then choose one thing to ask for: a later curfew, permission to attend a social event or permission to drive the family car, for example. It is better not to pressure them with a specific deadline. Leave the question open. If they say no, try to compromise. No matter what happens, remember that they have your best interests at heart.
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