Dating a Boyfriend Who Lives With His Mom
Your first few dates have gone off without a hitch and now you're starting to get serious with your new beau. Although he seems virtually perfect, he has one glaring flaw. When he invites you over for a romantic home-cooked dinner, it's his mom who sets the meal out on the table -- and not him. If you're dating a guy who still lives with his mother, working around this obstacle in a respectful way is key to keeping the relationship on course.
1 Reasons Why
Before balking at a grown man -- or at least 18-year-old adult -- who refuses to move out of mom's house, ask him why. Although his living situation may not seem ideal to you when it comes to your relationship, sometimes this type of arrangement is necessary. Many young adults move back in with their parents for financial reasons, notes social psychologist Susan Newman on "Psychology Today" online. For example, if your guy can't find a decent paying job or has a mega bill of student loans to pay off, living with Mom may be essential. Show some understanding for your guy's situation, and some appreciation for the help that his mom provides. On the other hand, if he's simply too lazy to move out, consider what his juvenile behavior means for your future together.
2 You're Not Alone
If you're still in high school, you already know that you're not alone in dealing with a BF who lives with his mother. Since it's more than likely that you live with your parents as well, dating a guy who is still under Mom's wing is a normal fact of life. If you're in college or older, your living situation may include friends or roommates and not parents. That said, the number of people ages 18 to 24 living with their parents hit a four decade high in 2012, according to statistics from the Pew Research Group; young men especially are moving back home in record numbers.
3 Respecting Rules
Whether you're both in high school, in college or out of school entirely, respecting Mom's rules in her house is a must. Even if your guy is an adult, he's living under her roof and must obey her house policies. For example, if Mom doesn't allow "sleep overs" don't expect to stay the night. Avoid asking your guy to break the rules for you, as this may put a wedge between him and his mother or ruin your relationship with his family.
4 Keep It Friendly
Dating a guy who lives with his mom most likely means that you're going to see her when the two of you hang out at his house. Unless you always stay at your place or only go out on dates, getting friendly with Mom is a must. This doesn't mean that the two of you must become BFFs, but that you should at least make an effort to make small talk or ask polite questions such as, "How was your day?"
- 1 Psychology Today: Living With Parents: Stunted Development or Opportunity?
- 2 Pew Research: A Rising Share of Young Adults Live in Their Parents' Home
- 3 PsychCentral: When Your Young Adult Son Wants to Sleep With His Girlfriend in Your House
- 4 TeensHealth: Talking to Your Parents -- or Other Adults