Flirty, or flirtatious, is variously defined as inclined to flirt, playful allure, arousing sexual interest and showing sexual attraction that isn’t meant to be serious. If you have a flirty personality, you enjoy flirting and could flirt to break the ice with someone. You consider flirting a fun way to interact and may flirt just to be playful, rather than to interest someone in developing a romantic relationship with you.
You could flirt for different reasons, depending on the situation. Flirting encourages someone to date you and maintain strength in a relationship, but it has other purposes, according to Dr. David Henningson’s research revealed in “Why Do We Flirt?” for Psychology Today. If someone says you have a flirty personality, they probably mean that you flirt because it’s fun and playful -- perhaps inferring that you'll flirt with anyone, regardless of your attraction to them. You could also flirt to deepen a relationship, explore someone’s reaction to your flirting, gain something, improve your self-esteem or the self-esteem of the person you flirt with or to indicate you’re attracted to someone.
Specific or General?
Guys find flirting sexy, up to a point, according to the eHarmony staff in “5 Types of Women that Men Avoid.” Flirtatious behavior lets everyone know you aren’t shy and that you can be fun and charming. However, if you flirt with everyone and in ways that are obviously not meant to be serious, your date might find the behavior a turn-off. Flirt with your date instead of everyone in the room. If you came without a date, general flirtatious behavior could be fun, attractive and engaging until someone special captures your attention.
Don't Hurt Your Date
If your flirty personality makes your sweetheart uncomfortable, talk about it, suggests Dr. Phil McGraw in “'Charming’ or Flirting?” on Dr.Phil.com. Ask if your behavior appears to be a come on or just over-the-top fun now that you are in a relationship. If your behavior makes your date unhappy, rein it in, at least until you can work things out. Respect a request to focus on your date for the night.
Communicating Your Purpose
Flirtatious behavior gets you noticed and is highly successful as a dating technique, according to a 2010 study in the “Communication Quarterly” journal. Playful flirting boosts your self-esteem and lets you have fun. However, if no one takes you seriously or is willing to try to build a relationship because of the flirting, it can be counterproductive, according to therapist Dr. Jeanette Raymond in “Which Flirting Style Is Best For You?” for YourTango. Be clear about your intentions by letting your flirt partner know when you're serious, such as exclusively focusing on her and communicating how you really feel.
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