How Do I Confront a Friend Who Has Treated Me Rudely?
Whenever you have something to say, your friend frequently interrupts -- but listens intently to everyone else. When a romantic option appears on the scene, your pal is quick to cut you down to size in a bid to win. If gritting your teeth can no longer help you get through her behavior, confronting her may be the only way to move forward. Knowing how to do it can spare you a fight and might lead to a solution.
1 Plan It Out
Though you may be angry about a pal's treatment, your friend may have no idea she behaved poorly. If the incident occurred once, giving her the benefit of the doubt and letting it go may be best for your friendship, according to PBS Kids. But if poor treatment is your friend's go-to method of relating to you, addressing it directly can benefit your friendship. Practice what you plan to say to her ahead of time and rehearse keeping calm -- insulting her or bringing up unrelated problems, though attention-grabbing -- may only damage the friendship further.
2 Address the Issues Immediately
Forget talking about an important event in your life - every time you tell a pal about your wedding, your other friend is quick to interrupt and talk about hers instead. Though your anger may be boiling, wait until you can pull your friend aside for a calm, private confrontation. You might say, "I felt hurt when you interrupted the story about my wedding, because I don't know why we couldn't take turns talking about big events in our lives," according to PBS Kids. Keeping the focus on how you feel can help your friend empathize -- and hopefully, to change her behavior.
3 Confront Later
Many times, you may be confronting your friend after a series of let downs. Rehearsing the specifics of each incident ahead of time can ensure that your confrontation is both factual and calm. A variety of responses may come from the confrontation -- she may agree and apologize, she may deny any wrongdoing, or she may throw accusations back at you. Assigning blame or engaging in a fight over the confrontation will only add fuel to your disagreement. Plan to discuss the issue later if things get heated. This can also give you time to consider your friend's perspective -- maybe you have also acted rudely to her. If you agree with her, you may consider issuing an apology -- along with making an honest effort to avoid that behavior in the future, according to KidsHealth.
4 Face the Aftermath
If rude behavior continues after your disagreement, it may be time to evaluate the friendship, according to Liane Holliday Willey, writing for the "Psychology Today" website. A friendship based on antagonism and feeling poorly about yourself may be a friendship you are better off without. If you feel the issue could still be resolved, talk to a counselor about other ways you can resolve the problem with your friend.