Jealousy is a common problem that many couples will face at some point in their relationship. Sometimes this jealousy is warranted, as in situations where one partner has a history of infidelity. In other cases, a guy might get jealous because of personal issues stemming from his past interactions or current worries and personality patterns. While you may be able to help your guy resolve some of his jealousy issues with good communication, others may require counseling or other professional intervention.
Help Guide explains that jealousy may be a sign of abusive dynamics. Men who become jealous of their partners’ friends, family and co-workers often want to control their partners’ social interactions, which is a form of emotional abuse. While jealousy may start out mild, it may lead to threats, name-calling or manipulative behaviors. This type of extreme, abusive jealousy may stem from past trauma, drug abuse, alcoholism, narcissism or anti-social personality traits.
Insecurity is a common cause of jealousy in men. Psychologist Shauna Springer states that insecurity about a man’s sense of self-worth “is further magnified by the real or imagined threat of losing the object of one’s affection.” In other words, guys may feel bad about themselves and become jealous because they worry that their own inadequacies may lead to a breakup.
Men who are involved in unhealthy relationships may display jealousy, argues Springer. In short, if a relationship is on the rocks, a man may feel jealous because he recognizes that his partner has needs that he is not meeting. Likewise, he might also feel insecure because one or both partners have started to draw away from the relationship. In other words, jealousy might be a sign that something in a relationship is not working well. This can lead to worries that his partner may be thinking about seeking out a better relationship.
Childhood Attachment Issues
Psychologist Helen Fisher explains that trauma or dependence learned in childhood can lead individuals to get jealous easily. In particular, if a man had trouble bonding with his parents as a child and did not feel consistent love and support, these patterns can carry over into adulthood. Because men who have experienced this type of trauma may struggle to trust others, they may become jealous easily because they have not had healthy relationship models.
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