The cute girl who lives a couple doors down from you has caught your eye -- but you can't seem to break through to her. When you stop to talk, she is guarded and makes chitchat about the weather. You'd really like to ask her on a date, but you worry that she will say no. If you're concerned that a girl is afraid to date, look at her life to give you the answers.
Signs of Nervousness
Check to see if the girl you like seems nervous in your presence. Shaking hands, stuttering and a lack of eye contact could signal that she likes you but is afraid to date you. Some teens suffer from anxiety that can cause them to be fearful of everyday activities, reports the TeensHealth article "Anxiety: Rachel's Story." If this is the case with the girl you like, it might take some time and patience for her to feel comfortable around you.
Try to reassure her by making sure that your behavior around her is warm, welcoming and open so that she won't be scared off. Show her that you are interested, approachable and want to get to know her better. Smile and use open body language, such as keeping your arms relaxed. Your warm attitude may help melt her rigid stance.
Find out about the girl's dating history to give you clues about her fears. If she just got out of a long-term relationship, she might be reluctant to start dating again. If a boyfriend treated her badly or broke her trust, she may have trouble believing in others, notes marriage and family therapist Darlene Lancer in the Psych Central article "How to Spot Emotional Unavailability." If she has no history of dating at all, she may be nervous about something she has never done. Her dating history will tell you a lot about why she might be afraid to date.
Sometimes a person who seems afraid to date you might not be interested in dating you, writes social psychologist Jeremy Nicholson in the Psychology Today article, "Are Men and Women Afraid to Date?" Perhaps she just sees you as a friend, and that is why the conversations never get flirty. Although it will be hard to figure out if she is attracted to you, it's not impossible. Try asking a mutual friend if she ever talks about you. Notice how she behaves around other guys. If the signs point to her not liking you, she might not be afraid to date at all, but she might not want to date you.
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