How to Feel Comfortable With a Boyfriend Having Friends
While you might want to always hold the spotlight in your guy's eye, being center stage all of the time isn't a reasonable request. Whether your boyfriend spends his weekends with his best boy buds or he has a circle of girls who are "just friends," feeling comfortable with him socializing is a must if you want to keep balance in your relationship.
1 Talking Trust
Trust your guy to stay true to you in all situations. Having trust in each other is an essential part of a healthy relationship, according to the article "Am I in a Healthy Relationship?" on TeensHealth.org. Ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable about your boyfriend having friends. If the answer is that you don't trust him, you need to decide whether he deserves your trust or not. A guy who has never done anything to indicate that he's untrue is most likely deserving of your trust. In this case, tell yourself that your boyfriend is trustworthy and that his friendships -- whether they are with girls or guys -- won't tear him away from you. Trusting your beau will help you become comfortable with him having friends and make your relationship one that includes a sense of mutual respect.
2 Bringing Balance
Developing a sense of balance in your relationship can help you become more comfortable with your guy having other friends. Telling your boyfriend that he can't hang with his BFF or that he's not allowed to have coffee with his best girl friend will make it seem like you're putting yourself in the position of power. Although you may think that "telling" him what to do will make you feel comfortable, the unbalanced power that you have may end up making you feel badly about how you're treating your guy or make him resent you. Set the balance right and try to understand that your boyfriend has his own friends just like you do.
3 Group Games
If your discomfort stems from you not knowing your guy's pals, stage a group get-together to meet them. Ask your boyfriend if he can take you along when he and his friends go out for dinner, suggest that he invite his gal pal to your holiday party, or go on a double date with his BFF and his girlfriend. Getting to know his friends may ease any fears that you have, such as that your guy has a romantic interest in his girl friends or that his guy friends don't like you.
4 Comfort in Communication
Talk to your boyfriend about your worries. Whether your boyfriend knows that you're uncomfortable with him having friends or not, keeping it bottled up won't help the situation. Communication is essential in a healthy relationship, according to the Stayteen.org article "What's Your Relationship Reality?" from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. Tell your guy that you aren't feeling comfortable about his friendships and why. For example, if you don't feel comfortable with your boyfriend going to a Friday night movie with his girl "who is just a friend," tell him that you feel like he's taking her out on a date. It may not have occurred to him that his actions are making you worry. Getting your feelings out, and getting answers to your questions, can help you resolve any inner turmoil about his friends and make you feel more comfortable.