Your best buds are getting together to watch the big game, hit the club or just hang out. You want to go with them, but are worried that your girlfriend will say "no way" instead of "go and play." Despite your concerns, it's entirely possible that your girl will happily let you have some time away from her with your boys. With tact, caring and a sensitive touch, you can communicate your needs and ask your girlfriend for a boy's night.
Talk About Respect
Respecting each other's thoughts, opinions, boundaries and feelings is part of building a healthy relationship, experts with Stayteen.org point out. If your girl is stressing about your idea to have a boys-only night out, tell her that it is important to you. Explain that she needs to respect your wants and needs, just like you do for her. For example, say something such as, "When you tell me that it's silly to go to the ball game with the boys, it makes me feel like you don't respect my thoughts." Respect her needs, as well. Tell her that if she wants to have her own time with her own friends, you will support her decision, too.
Think back to the time before you were in a relationship. Remember what you did, where you went and who you hung out with. You had your own identity, your own likes and your own interests. This shouldn't end just because you have a girlfriend now. In fact, maintaining separate identities is essential for your relationship's success, say the experts with TeensHealth. When you ask your girl about having a boys' night out, remind her how much it can help your relationship to do solo activities. Let her know that, although you thoroughly enjoy your couple time, you also need to have your own friends and interests. For example, try saying, "I love hanging out with you, but I don't want to lose my friends."
If you feel like your girl might say "no," come up with a creative alternative before you start the conversation. Instead of just asking your girlfriend if you can go out without her, offer up an activity for her to do while you're busy with your buds. For example, you want to go hear a band with your friends on Saturday night. Suggest to your girlfriend that it would give her the chance to see the rom-com she's been talking about with her sister that night. You can even go a step further and offer to treat them to the movie or surprise her with tickets.
Whether you talk about respect, discuss having separate identities or offer up alternative activities, keep your conversation on the sensitive side. Show her how you feel and start the big ask with a brief but sensitive "I" statement such as, "I feel sad when I have to ignore my friends." If she has already said "no," show her the impact of her actions with a statement such as, "I feel sad when you won't let me go out with the boys. I feel like you don't trust me." Use the conversation as an opportunity to calmly communicate your feelings and needs to each other.
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