As you grow into a teen or young adult you become more independent and may not feel the need to tell your parents everything. Although you still need to communicate with your parents and tell them about important issues, such as a failing grade in school, talking to them is your job -- not your sister's. If your sister is constantly spilling your secrets or speaking up when she shouldn't, it can help to improve your communication with her.
Before getting bent out of shape over your sister's snitching ways, consider the possibility that she's acting out of jealousy. It isn't uncommon for a sibling to feel jealous when a parent shows attention or pride toward a brother or sister. If mom is constantly praising your A grades -- while your sib is getting B's -- your sister may act out of jealousy and tell on you so that she gets the spotlight. In a calm moment, discuss your frustrations with your sister. If she is jealous, point out times when your parents have praised her or go straight to your parents and ask them to cool it on the verbal accolades for your good work in front of your sister.
Although it isn't easy to feel empathy for a snitching sister, showing compassion can help to ease the situation and make her more likely to stop her unwanted behavior. It's possible her snitching is just a play for attention from you. If you haven't been noticing her or showing much interest in what she's up to, she may act out instead of simply talking to you. After kindly, but directly, asking your sister to stop snitching, start paying attention to her. Demonstrate a real interest in her feelings and opinions to show compassion and make her feel loved.
If snitching starts to seriously effect the family, schedule a meeting with your siblings and parents. Explain your side of the story to your parents or simply let them know what's going on. If your sister is snitching on you at school, to your friends, at a job where you both work or to your boyfriend, set the record straight at a family meeting. Your parents -- who may have gone through the same thing when they were younger -- can offer up their own expert advice based on their past experiences. Work together, as a family, to come up with a game plan that will stop the snitching. Ask your sister to explain why she is so intent on spilling your secrets and crate a resolution that works for everyone involved. For example, mom can put her foot down and tell your sister that her snitching will result in losing privileges, or you can arrange to spend more positive time together with your sister.
While the constant snitching may annoy you, rise above your sister's childish acts and ignore it. If she's successfully using this behavior to get attention from the family, she may keep it up as she develops into a young adult. Pandering to her and engaging her in arguments about snitching only gives her more attention and validates that the snitching works. When she tattles, ignore the behavior, and ask others to do so, too. The less attention that you give the snitching, the less likely it is that your sister will continue it.
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