Whether you've spoken before or you've admired her from afar, approaching your crush can be a nerve-wracking task. You might worry that you'll say something stupid, or your jokes will fall flat or your words will turn into a mess of stuttering and mumbles. With negative thoughts filling your head, it's tempting to turn away and avoid your crush altogether. While that is always an option, it's not one that will land you a chance for happiness in the dating arena. Instead, use calming strategies to keep you cool as you approach your crush.
Your imagination can be the key to minimizing your fears of approaching your crush. In an article for the Huffington Post, psychologist Shannon Kolakowski suggests picturing the worst possible outcome of this encounter and then asking yourself whether the worst possible outcome is really all that bad. Consider how long you'd feel upset by the most horrible rejection possible. Chances are, you'll realize that life goes on, even if the worst outcome arises. Kolakowski then suggests balancing this imaginary scenario out by picturing the best possible outcome. Compare the benefits of a successful interaction, which could lead to a long and happy relationship, with the temporary sting of rejection. This can give you the courage to go forward in engaging your crush in conversation.
Steady Your Breathing
When you approach your crush, your heart rate and breathing will likely quicken, accompanying your anxious thoughts. You can address this anxiety by practicing breathing exercises. Take controlled, deep breaths until you feel a little calmer. Remember to breathe from your diaphragm, rather than your chest, suggests Therese Borchard, associate editor for PsychCentral, in her article titled "Eleven Tips to Help Manage Anxiety." Borchard also recommends pairing this deep breathing with a reassuring mantra, such as saying, "This will be OK." Once you have restored a sense of calm, you are ready to approach your crush.
Present a Smile
A smile does more than make you look attractive and approachable, it can also calm your nerves, says Sarah Stevenson, who has a degree in behavioral psychology, in an article for Psychology Today. Smiling activates numerous neurotransmitters in the brain, including dopamine, serotonin and endorphins. With these processes in motion, you will experience a reduced heart rate and lower blood pressure, which can help you stroll up to your crush with a cool head and a confident expression.
If you are focusing only on yourself when you approach your crush, you are only contributing to your anxiety. Instead, a key to overcoming your fear is to focus on another person -- in this case your crush -- suggests general internist Alex Lickerman in his Psychology Today article, "How to Overcome Shyness." Foster a genuine interest in your crush, so when you walk up to him, you'll be ready to ask a few questions and get a conversation going. Ask about his day, his hobbies, his mood or whatever you really want to know about -- within reason. By doing so, you hold back your own self-centered anxiety and you may end up learning a few things about him.
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