What Happens When Relationships Start to Get Boring?

Spice up your relationship with a new activity.
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After the initial thrill that you felt when your guy gazed deeply into your eyes or the spark of electricity that shot through your arm when he brushed his hand against yours, what happens when the sizzle begins to fizzle? When your relationship begins to get boring, you can either bail or work together to see if you two have the closeness and commitment that can beat the blahs.

1 Change of Pace

During the teen and young adult years, it's common to look for new and different experiences when it comes to relationships. As you explore your own identity, you may want to try dating different types of people. When your relationship gets boring, it may mean that you're changing, growing or realizing that your interests don't exactly mesh with those of your current partner. If this happens, you may need to consider other dating options, allowing yourself the opportunity to meet different types of people while you are young and not looking to settle down. This doesn't mean that you should bounce from date to date, but instead carefully consider what type of person you are looking for in a partner.

2 Digging Deeper

True, long-lasting relationships are built on closeness and commitment, not on attraction alone. If the chemistry begins to fade and you're starting to feel bored with your mate, consider whether a deeper relationship is possible. Although you can feel attraction for a person well into a long-term relationship, it's not likely to maintain the same intensity that it did at first. The gradual decrease in electric attraction doesn't always indicate that your relationship is in the doldrums. Instead of relying on attraction alone, get to know your significant other in a deeper way. Share personal thoughts and feelings with each other. As you get to know each other on an emotional level, you'll have a better idea whether you have a real relationship or just a fling.

3 Talk It Out

Having the ability to effectively communicate your wants and needs is key to any healthy relationship, according to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy's article "What's Your Relationship Reality" on its Stayteen.org website. When your relationship gets boring, you can either give up or talk through this tough time. It's possible that there's a reason why either you or your partner feels that things are getting dull. For example, if your boyfriend is pulling away from you because he's more focused on getting into college, you may perceive your interactions as suddenly boring. Talking to him about the situation can help you to see if there's a real problem or if the two of you just aren't compatible.

4 Moving On

Although there are times when a bit of boredom is something that you can overcome, other times it might just mean that the relationship is over. If you've honestly thought about what's going on in your relationship and what you want to get out of it and you still are feeling those pangs of boredom, you may need to break things off. Show caring and consideration when you have the "big talk," and let your soon-to-be ex know that things aren't working out. There's no need to get brutal or say hurtful words such as, "You really, really just bore me." Keep it positive and explain that you just don't feel that the two of you work as a romantic couple.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.