Tips to Get a Shy Guy to Fall in Love With You

A shy guy needs to feel comfortable to fall in love.
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The shy guy you know is only a friend but you want him to be more than a friend. Or, perhaps you're dating a shy guy and looking for tips so that he might fall head over heels in love with you. All guys (and girls) fall in love the same way -- through a chemical process that makes them feel euphoric and giddy, says Maryanne Fisher, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Saint Mary's University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, in the "Psychology Today" article, "The Science Behind Falling in Love." With a shy guy, you will need to be more forthright while understanding his need to take things slowly. It is a delicate balancing act, but worth the effort to develop a lasting relationship.

1 Take the Lead

A shy guy may be reluctant to approach you, even if he is romantically interested. Shy individuals tend to doubt themselves, which can interfere with meeting new people, starting conversations and asking for dates. In the article, "8 Best Flirting Tips," psychologist Diana Kirschner recommends that you take the lead to show a guy that you are looking to take things to the next level. If the shy guy is someone you haven't met, introduce yourself and start up a conversation. If he is a friend you would like to turn into a romantic interest, drop hints like telling him about a movie you want to see. If you are already dating a shy guy, take the initiative to kiss him first. Taking the lead communicates your interest and takes the pressure off him to make the first move.

2 Find Common Interests

To make a shy guy fall in love with you, merely meeting, talking or dating him won't be enough. You need to develop a deeper connection than surface banter. You can help the conversation by discussing common interests, says Kirschner. Ask him open-ended questions such as "What's your favorite type of music?" "What sports do you play?" or "What was the last book that you read?" Show him you have a genuine interest and he will share something about himself. When a shy guy feels comfortable opening up, love may be blossoming.

3 Be a Flirt

The two of you are talking, laughing and having a good time -- good ingredients for love, but not enough on their own. If you want to translate a great mental connection into a relationship, flirting is in order. Take it slow with the shy guy so you don't make him feel uncomfortable -- especially when it comes to physical touch. Contact with a love interest releases oxytocin, says Kirschner, which can speed up the bonding process and make both of you feel good. A light touch on the arm may be all that's needed to get started. When in a relationship, a kiss or hug will show him you care. If the feelings are mutual, both of you will be riding an emotional high that could lead to love.

4 Create a Comfort Zone

A shy guy needs to feel comfortable with you to let down his guard. Comfort also helps in the release of oxytocin, according to Dr. Alan Hirsch, M.D., in the "Cosmopolitan" article, "What Makes Men Fall in Love?" You can help his comfort level by doing things that create a comfort zone such as cooking his favorite foods, buying his favorite brands and even sitting close to him. These little actions tell him that you care about his needs, want to make him feel at home and that he is special to you.

5 Be Vulnerable

If you wish to pull out all the stops, make sure to show your vulnerable side to a shy guy, says David Givens, Ph.D., in the "Cosmopolitan" article. Men want to feel like protectors and a shy guy is no exception. Simple gestures like having him fix something for you, asking his opinion about a problem or wearing his clothing sends the signal that you value his strength and protection. Being vulnerable is particularly important with a shy guy -- as showing him your weaknesses will make him feel less awkward about his own. Value your shy guy for who he is, let him know he's special to you and love may be waiting at the next turn.

Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since 2007, specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings. Cuncic holds an M.A. in clinical psychology.