What Makes a Guy Take His Emotions Slowly in a Relationship?

Be patient and look toward building a relationship with him.
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Understanding why your guy is moving as slow as molasses in letting you into his heart can make the difference between enjoying your relationship and becoming impatient with it. It is hard to be understanding while you are waiting for him to open up -- but this is exactly what you should try to do. Trying to figure out what makes him tick in matters of the heart can help you relax while you wait.

1 Searching for Stability

For many couples, being in a relationship means falling head over heels in love and doing everything together as a couple as quickly as possible. This is known as “churning,” notes an article on Psychology Today by Susan Whitbourne, Ph.D, entitled “Take it Slow If You Want Your Relationship to Last.” Your guy may be aware that having a relationship like this could be setting you both up for heartache. His unwillingness to move forward quickly may be because he want to build something with you that takes time to develop.

2 A Different Lens

It could be a difference in perspective. Some people think that there needs to be an overload of emotional intimacy in order for a relationship to work and are unhappy when emotional intimacy is not forthcoming, report Jean Ducombe and Dennis Marsden in “Love and Intimacy.” The difference in expectations can cause unnecessary disappointment. Try seeing the relationship from his perspective and do not hold him to your standards regarding expressing emotions.

3 It's in His Nature

Your guy could be logical and analytical by nature. And he may think that emotions impede clarity, suggests Craig Miller in the YourTango article “Emotional Differences with Men and Women.” Men push their emotions down in order to reflect the more masculine side of them, reducing their emotional expressiveness as a result.

4 Not Ready to Commit

When a man is slow to express his emotions in a relationship, he may not be ready to commit to fully expressing his feelings for you. He may be taking his time and assessing his options because he is unsure if he is able to commit to you in a long-term relationship. It does not mean he wants to break up with you, just that he needs time to make his mind up.

Nina Edwards holds a doctorate in clinical psychology and has been writing about families and relationships since 2000. She has numerous publications in scholarly journals and often writes for relationship websites as well. Edwards is a university lecturer and practicing psychologist in New York City.