What Does It Mean When I Feel Like My Boyfriend Is More of a Best Friend?

Ask your guy if he wants to tone things down to a friendship level.
... Goodshoot RF/Goodshoot/Getty Images

The two of you are as close as a couple can be, but when it comes to romance it's a no-go. When the spark and sizzle fizzles because your guy feels more like your best friend than a boyfriend, you need to evaluate your relationship to see if it can go from romantic to platonic. While staying together is an option, without any attraction it's not likely that your love will endure.

1 Attraction Ingredient

Relationships require a blend of attraction, closeness and commitment, according to the article "Love and Romance" on the TeensHealth website. If you're missing one of the ingredients, such as attraction, the romantic partnership may fail. When you have emotional closeness and commitment with your guy, but don't feel the spark of electricity that kicked off your relationship, you may see him more like a friend than anything more. This may mean that your relationship is no longer meant to be the romantic kind anymore.

2 Mismatched Needs

When one person in a relationship realizes that their partner is more of a "friend" than "boyfriend," you have a mismatch in your wants and needs. If you see your guy as someone who you can confide in and talk to about anything from your inner-most feelings to what you watched on TV last night, but he sees you as the true object of his affection, your relationship is off balance. This type of one-sided romance often takes a turn for the platonic.

3 You're Stuck

Your relationship hit a lull and gradually the initial attraction that you felt dwindled down to nothing. Maybe he feels the same way too or maybe you're just expecting him to do all of the work to keep your relationship alive. The longer that you're stuck at the friendship level of a once-romantic relationship, the less likely it is that you'll get back to your lost passionate love. If you see your BF as more of a BFF it may mean that your relationship has hit a plateau.

4 Add a Spark

Feeling like your guy is your best friend, and nothing else, doesn't necessarily mean that all hope is lost. Even though the lack of romantic attraction is a relationship ender, some couples may have the ability to get back on track. Consider why you see your guy as a friend and not a lover. Ask yourself, "Did he stop caring if I think he's attractive?" If he not only sits around the house in sweats and a stained t-shirt, but also wears this uniform on your dates, he may feel so comfortable with you that in some ways he appears to have quit caring. Give him a nudge toward romance and ask him out to a candlelit dinner -- where he has to where a nice outift -- and see if you can start getting the spark back.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.