When you feel strong emotions towards a guy friend, making a move must be done carefully. To move a relationship out of the "friend zone" requires a skillful balance. When you avoid both coming on too strong and offering signals that are too subtle, you may find yourself in a rewarding new relationship.
Act to Attract
Before you try to step things up a gear, make sure you're not acting in a way that will put him off. Girls can sabotage their chances of getting a guy to want a committed relationship by how they behave, Rhonda Findling, psychotherapist and author of "The Dating Cure," told the Orlando Sentinel. Some turn-offs that she noted were sarcasm and neediness. Playful teasing is an attractive and non-desperate way of showing that you like someone. Tease him gently about his sports team, or a silly shirt he always wears.
Use your body language to show that you like someone as more than a friend. Send signals that you are interested in him by leaning forward slightly while he talks. Tilting your heads to one side while you listen shows attentiveness. Flipping your hair is a good way of flirting. A brief, light touch on his arm or hand could make your friend feel more warmly towards you. If he responds positively, there is a good chance he is interested in you.
Talk About Love
You can "prime" a guy, so that he's more likely to consider becoming a boyfriend, by carefully choosing the topics you talk about and the words you use, according to a study led by Jens Forster of University of Amsterdam. People can be influenced by amorous mental imagery and words, revealed the 2009 study, which was published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. When talking to your friend, use "love-based" words, and get him to picture romantic situations. Say, for instance, "I adore going for long walks with someone special" or "I'd love someone to take me to that new restaurant."
Arranging a Date
Some guys react very positively to being asked out, and the only way to be sure of what he'll say is to be honest and ask him. If you feel too intimidated to do this, there are more subtle ways to move things forward. Instead of asking him out directly, put the ball in his court. Say something along the lines of "I really enjoy spending time with you. Maybe we could go for coffee together sometime, just the two of us?" Offer him your number, so he can call if he wants to arrange a date.
- Goodshoot/Goodshoot/Getty Images