What If My Girlfriend Wants to Kiss Me but I'm Shy?

Most people are shy and nervous about a first kiss.
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Your girlfriend wants to kiss you -- but you are shy. Thoughts of what could go wrong are running through your head. First kisses are nerve-wracking for everyone, not just those who are shy, so don't feel badly that you haven't made the first move. Hopefully, your girlfriend is the patient type and will give you time to be ready for that first kiss.

1 Everyone Feels Nervous

Even those who are outgoing feel nervous about a first kiss. In a study of young adults reported by professor of psychology Pamela Regan in the "Psychology Today" article "The Very First Kiss: Momentous or Disastrous?" 85 percent of men said they felt nervous and afraid of their very first kiss. Fortunately, most of them said they felt good about the kiss when it was happening. If you are shy and worried about kissing your girlfriend, your fears are common, but things are likely to go better than you expect.

2 Learn the Basics

Reduce some of your shyness about kissing by learning the ropes. Start a kiss by leaning in, tilting your head to the side, closing your eyes and puckering your lips, says the "Teen Health Source" article "Kissing 101." Make contact, hold the kiss for a few seconds, breathe through your nose and then relax and pull away.

3 Go With the Moment

People who are shy aren't good at living in the moment, says Indiana University Southeast professor Bernardo Carducci in the "Psychology Today" article "The Cost of Shyness. In the moments leading up to a kiss, you might be thinking about a bad experience from the past or worrying what your girlfriend will think of you after it is done. Try to focus on the here and now and let yourself get lost in the moment. Kissing isn't meant to involve a lot of thinking, so try to go with the flow.

4 Explain You Are Shy

If you are still feeling shy about kissing your girlfriend, be sure to let her know how you feel. If you let it go too long, she might start to think that you don't like her. Tell her that you are shy and just need a bit more time to warm up to the situation. If she doesn't respect your need for time, then she might not be the right person to share a kiss with anyway. Eventually that kiss will happen with her or someone else, and it will be worth the wait.

Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since 2007, specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings. Cuncic holds an M.A. in clinical psychology.