How to Get the Confidence to Kiss Your Girlfriend

Build confidence for kissing by watching television characters in the act.
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If you are anxiously anticipating a first kiss with your girlfriend, but not feeling confident enough to make the first move -- take heart. Most first kisses are awkward or imperfect, so you don't have much to worry about. As long as the two of you both want to do it, and the mood is right at the time, not too much can go wrong. That said, you can prepare yourself by making sure you are aware of the basics of kissing.

1 Everyone Gets Nervous

Your girlfriend is probably just as nervous as you about that first kiss. A study published in 2007 in the "International Journal of Sexual Health" shows that 85 percent of men and 94 percent of women felt a mix of anxiety and dread about their first kiss. The good news is that most men -- 80 percent -- said they had positive feelings once the kiss started -- and that the anxiety went away. Once you get started, you may wonder what all the fuss was about.

2 Learn the Basics

If you want to build confidence toward that first kiss with your girlfriend, make sure you know the basics about what you are going to do. The steps in kissing include: leaning in, puckering the lips, closing the eyes, holding the kiss for a few seconds and then pulling away, explains Teen Health Source. You probably don't want to do french kissing -- using the tongue -- the first time, but it might be fun to try later on.

3 Practice Makes Perfect

Confidence can also be built by practicing kissing before the actual kiss, suggests Go Ask Alice!, Columbia University's online health resource. Practice by giving your girlfriend a little peck on the cheek or trying out your skills on your arm or hand. You might also watch television shows to see how the characters kiss, and copy what they do when it comes time for you to make a move. Remember, you are not trying to be the perfect kisser, just trying to get more comfortable with kissing.

4 Be Spontaneous

Eventually you will need to stop practicing and start doing. Give your girlfriend a spontaneous kiss when it feels right, recommends Rich Santos in "Marie Claire" online magazine, such as when the two of you are sitting close, not talking and looking softly into each others eyes. Don't think about it too much, or you may never do it. If your girlfriend keeps looking back and forth between your eyes and your lips, the tension has probably built to the point that kissing is the natural next step. Let yourself be carried away by the moment and don't try to control what happens. Kissing isn't about following rules or doing things "right" beyond the basics, so just have fun.

Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since 2007, specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings. Cuncic holds an M.A. in clinical psychology.