How to Ease Insecurities About Liking a Boy

Keep your cool when you approach your crush at school.
... Digital Vision./Photodisc/Getty Images

If your heart starts to flutter and your stomach gets tense each time that special guy walks by, you need to become more confident. Remember that you aren't the only person to ever feel insecure. Take a step back, look at yourself, pump up your self-image, talk to friends and shed the insecurities before you consider confronting your crush.

1 Talk It Through

When the thought of talking to your crush makes you want to run and hide, come up with a few conversation starters to ease your anxiety. Write down an opening. Begin your conversation with a question, introduction or compliment, according to the article "5 Ways to Shake Shyness" on the TeensHealth website. Knowing what you are going to say can ease your insecurities and provide a less stressful way to start a conversation.

2 Love Thyself

If you feel this boy is out of your league, take a look inward. Everyone has insecurities, even the boy you like. For example, 44 percent of teen girls and 15 percent of boys report trying to lose weight, according to the website List your positive qualities and review them before approaching your crush. Boosting your self-esteem can make you more secure in yourself and less insecure about approaching your potential partner.

3 Optimal Optimism

If you are a glass-half-empty type of girl, you may feel insecure because you lack optimism. Instead of thinking the worst, ease your insecurities by boosting your optimism. This doesn't mean you should live in a fantasy world. Instead, look at the potential relationship in an upbeat but clear-eyed way. Optimists create a balance between realistic and positive ways of thinking, according to the article "Optimism" on the TeensHealth website. Envision how you want to act in front of your guy. See the outcome in a positive, yet realistic, light.

4 Friendly Advice

You are not the first girl to feel anxious around a boy. Instead of going it alone, talk to your BFFs about their insecurities. Ask your girlfriends if they feel insecure around boys and what they do about it. It is possible that your friends can provide insight or at least a few suggestions that haven't occurred to you. Additionally, your friends can act as cheerleaders, boosting your self-confidence and making you feel secure about approaching the guy.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.