It's been a great date and as the evening winds down, you know he is probably going to go in for a kiss. Try as you might, you can't quell the butterflies that are flapping around in your stomach. Your heart is beating fast and your hands are shaking a little, but you manage to hold it together -- and then wish that you could have relaxed enough to enjoy the moment.
If you find yourself getting nervous in the moments leading up to a kiss, it may help to practice a simple breathing strategy as discussed by physician Robin Berzin in the MindBodyGreen.com article, "A Simple Breathing Exercise to Calm Your Mind & Body." When you feel your heart start to beat fast, take a moment to breathe in through your nose for two counts, pause for one count, and then exhale through your mouth for four counts. Breathing this way signals your parasympathetic nervous system to slow down your heart rate and relax your body.
Know What to Expect
Being prepared for a kiss will help you to feel less nervous. If you don't have a lot of experience, or this is your first kiss, learn the basics such as leaning in, tilting your head, puckering your lips and holding contact for a few seconds, as described in the Teen Health Source article "Kissing 101." You probably won't french kiss -- with open lips -- the first time, but might experiment with it later on. Knowing what to expect can make you feel less nervous when the moment happens.
Tell Him Your Fears
If you still feel that you can't get over your nerves, consider telling the guy how you feel. Say something like, "Just to let you know, I am a little nervous about kissing." Sometimes talking about what is bothering you can be enough to help you relax and not worry so much. Ideally he should try to make you feel comfortable or tell you that it's fine to wait. If instead he tries to push you for a kiss that doesn't feel right -- either it is too soon or you still feel too nervous -- he might not be the right guy for you after all.
Learn From Experience
Humor can help to relieve nervous tension. Learn from others who have already been through the same situations when you are feeling anxious, as suggested in the TeensHealth article, "5 Ways to Beat Pre-Performance Nerves." Talk to your friends about their experiences and how they handled being nervous while kissing. Perhaps a friend had an awkward kiss with a guy but the two of them ended up laughing over the situation. Imagine the worst-case scenario -- and realize that you can live with that happening.
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