Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend if We Have Started Fighting a Lot?
CANDICE COLEMAN
LIFE
Frequent arguments in your relationship may leave you wondering whether it is best to break things off and start anew. In other cases, it may be possible to salvage your relationship even though you are frequently fighting. There are several signs that could indicate whether you are better off in or out of your current relationship.
1 Unhealthy Signs
Knowing when to break up can be difficult, even when you and your boyfriend frequently fight. Your relationship may be unhealthy, and it may be time to leave, if either of you resort to name-calling, hitting or throwing objects during fights, according to the Santa Clara University article, "20 Relationship Warning Signs." Restrictive behavior, like trying to prevent your boyfriend from talking to all other women, or if your partner tries to isolate you from family and friends, may also mean that it is time to breakup.
2 Working Out Problems
Relationships go through phases and arguments may be more frequent at some times than others. If you feel that the problems causing your fights can be resolved, pick a calm time to discuss the issue. You might say, "I feel hurt when we go a week without seeing each other. I don't understand why we can't see each other two times a week," according to the TwoofUs.org article, "A Game Plan for Effective Communication." Give your boyfriend the opportunity to express his viewpoint too. Keeping your focus on solving the issue, rather than winning the argument, can also get your relationship back on the right track.
3 When to Go
If you and your boyfriend keep fighting about the same issue, without finding a way to resolve it, moving on may be better for both of you, according to Paula Davis-Laack, in the "Psychology Today" article "Five Signs It's Time to Move On." During your younger years, it is common for couples to grow in different directions, or to move on from a relationship when priorities shift. If you find yourself resenting or avoiding your partner, or if you feel your relationship is holding you back, it may be time to move on.
4 Moving Forward
Deciding to move on can be a difficult decision, but it may be one that works out better for you. When you do leave your boyfriend, arrange a private time to have the discussion in person. You might say, "I've enjoyed the time we have had together, but I have noticed that we keep arguing about where we are going to live after school. So, I want us to break up. I know this is hard for you, but I know you will be OK," according to the KidsHealth article, "How to Break Up Respectfully."
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