When Is Love Worth Fighting For?
STACEY ELKINS
LIFE
Struggling with the decision to end a relationship with your significant other is difficult, particularly when you still love him. Love, unfortunately, doesn't cause all of your problems to fall to the wayside. However, if there is still respect and commitment between you and your partner, love can be worth fighting for.
1 Consider Whether the Issue Can Be Fixed
It's important to consider the relationship issues that you're having and if you and your partner might be able to overcome them. For instance, if you see children in your future and your partner does not, your love is probably not worth fighting for. When you want different things and a compromise is not possible, there's not much chance of long-term compatibility. However, if you are having a problem with lack of communication, that can be resolved if you and your partner are both committed to remedying the issue.
2 Discuss the Issue With Your Partner
When wrestling with a tough relationship decision, such as if the relationship is worth keeping, it's important that you converse with your partner. It can be beneficial to know whether she agrees that you are having issues and if so, if she wants to continue the relationship and is willing to put in the effort to work through the problem. For instance, if you can't seem to get along, approach your significant other and express your concerns. If you and she aren't on the same page, your relationship will likely fail and it may not make sense to fight for it. If you're both committed to the relationship, listen to each other and determine both of your needs and what changes need to be made.
3 Investigate Your Energy Levels
Think through your relationship and how your interactions with your significant other make you feel. Consider your physical, mental and emotional energy levels when you think about him and spend time with him, suggests Danielle Grossman, a licensed marriage and family therapist. If you're left feeling drained, consider whether putting time and energy into your relationship will help to strengthen it. By putting effort into your relationship, you can often change the dynamic from depleting to strengthening, says Grossman. If this doesn't improve your relationship, it may be time to cut your losses.
4 Consider Shared Interests
Think through what you and your partner have in common. Having shared interests and a partner you enjoy spending time with are huge assets to a relationship. Perhaps you both love running and can reconnect through running together. Companionability can go a long way in a relationship and make it worth pursuing. Try doing activities you did when you first started dating and determine if you still enjoy being around each other.
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