How Do You End Things With a Guy You're Dating Because He Has Feelings for His Old Girlfriend?

A breakup should occur in person.
... Jupiterimages/liquidlibrary/Getty Images

Whether your partner has confirmed his feelings for his old girlfriend or you simply have a nagging suspicion, you have decided to break things off and move on. Though you may be hurt and angry, you can still break off your relationship with respect for both you and your partner.

1 Pre-Planning

No matter how angry you are, it is wise to think long and hard about your decision to end things, as there may be no going back, according to KidsHealth. Now is also the time to practice what you plan to say ahead of time. The goal is to end the relationship, rather than assign unnecessary blame or insult your partner because of his feelings for an old girlfriend. Be careful of what you say around others before you have the breakup conversation. Learning that your partner wants to break up with you from a mutual friend can be very hurtful and disrespectful.

2 How to Break Up

Unless distance makes it impractical, you should plan to end things with your partner in person, according to Location also matters. Breaking up in a public place risks further embarrassment for your partner, so ending things at your partner's home could be preferable. You might start out addressing your partner's positive attributes before explaining that you are ending the relationship. After clearly explaining that the relationship has ended, you can also give your boyfriend the chance to express his feelings on the matter.

3 Should I Mention It?

Though it can be uncomfortable, mentioning the reason that you are ending things is important for both you and your boyfriend, according to Psychology Today's Editor-at-Large, Hara Estroff Marano. You might say, "I am ending things because I believe you still have feelings for your ex-girlfriend. I needed your focus to be on us, but you continue talking about and to her." If your relationship has been short, you do not need to mention your reasons for ending the relationship.

4 Other Considerations

You may be inclined to avoid the breakup conversation, and your partner, out of fear. Letting a relationship fizzle out in silence leaves your boyfriend uncertain about what he did to cause the breakup and perhaps inclined to repeat his behavior again in a future relationship, according to KidsHealth. After a breakup, give your ex-boyfriend space to evaluate his feelings. This can also give you the opportunity to heal, and to recognize what you do and do not deserve in your next relationship.

Candice Coleman worked in the public school system as a middle school and high school substitute teacher. In addition to teaching, she is also a tutor for high school and college students.