While your mom might hope that you don't start dating until you're an adult and out of the house, chances are that you'll begin your first romance during the teen years. Although the American Academy of Pediatrics' HealthyChildren.org recommends that parents allow their teens to start one-on-one dating only after they are 16, it's possible that you'll feel differently. Telling your mom that you're ready to start dating will take a blend of maturity, confidence and wise words if you're going to effectively communicate your point.
Ruled By the Rules
Before you stride into the living room and announce that you're going out on a date Saturday night, you'll need to take your parents' rules into consideration. Even if you think that you're adult enough to begin a first romance, Mom may have already put her foot down and said "no" until you're a specific age. Telling your mom that you're dating as a teenager means waiting until you reach that magic age that your parents have set. For example, if Mom says that you can date when you are 16, and you're only 14, don't tell her that it's time. Your first dating discussion -- when you tell her that you are in fact going out on a real date -- should only happen after you meet your mom's age requirements.
Set a goal for the conversation that you will have with your mother. Instead of walking in with little idea of what you want out of the first dating discussion, decide what you want to achieve beforehand. For example, if your crush finally asked you out, set a goal such as, "Mom will leave the conversation knowing that this date is something that I've been waiting for months to happen." If you're not sure how your mom will react, even if you are of dating age, you may also want to set a goal that includes keeping the conversation cool and calm.
Just the Facts
Clarity is key when talking to your parents. Present the facts about your date in a straightforward and honest way. This can help to ease Mom's worries or any hesitation that she may have about your dating. Tell her about your date -- who he is, how you met him, how long you've been talking to him, what grade he's in or any other important information -- along with the logistics about where you're going and when. If this is your first "boyfriend," give your mom details about what you feel a relationship means to you as a teenager, how much time you spend with your guy and any plans that the two of you have for the future such as going to prom together or working at the same summer job.
If you're old enough to have a boy or girlfriend, you're also old enough to carry on a mature conversation with mom. Don't use an argumentative tone or whine like a toddler if your mom brings up a point that you disagree with. Although her opposition may anger you, show her that you're a young adult and can take her differing opinions into consideration. For example, if you tell Mom that your new girlfriend wants you to spend Saturday nights with her instead of going to your weekly family dinner, don't turn Mom's disagreement into World War III. Respect her opinion and understand that her age gives her a more expert point of view. Instead of crying and screaming, rationally explain to her just how important your new beau is, and ask if the two of you can come to a mutually acceptable agreement.
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