What to Ask Men During Speed Dating

Speed dating enables you to meet dozens of eligible men in one sitting.
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Whether you’re new in town, have a hard time meeting people due to your hectic work or school schedule or simply want to take a new approach to dating, speed dating is an option that many young professionals consider when trying to find Mr. Right. Most speed dating events give women four to five minutes to interview potential suitors in rapid succession. Because your time is so limited, asking the right questions during your speed dating session can mean the difference between going on a second date or going home empty-handed.

1 Content of Good Questions

There are no right or wrong questions to ask early in a dating relationship, according to psychologist Alice Boyes in Psychology Today. Boyes suggests that asking questions to determine your compatibility, such as work habits, religious views and future goals can assist in determining if you are a good match before you become emotionally attached.

2 Icebreakers

Breaking the ice can save precious seconds or minutes in your condensed speed dates. Quirky questions such as “If you had a super power, what would it be and would you use it for good or evil?” or “What TV show would you refuse to miss for a date with me?” may catch your dates off guard and give them a chuckle, lightening the mood of your conversation. Serious questions such as “What led you to try speed dating?” or “Tell me about the last date you went on and how that brought you here today.” can help you get straight to the point.

3 Relationship Questions

To determine if you and your date are on the same page, you should ask questions to determine what your date hopes to gain from your speed dating experience. Questions such as “How do you feel about having a family?” or “Are you looking for a long-term commitment?” can identify if your date is looking for the same things that you are out of a relationship. You can also ask questions about his previous relationships, such as “If you could change one thing about your last relationship, what would it be?” to determine how your date handled conflict in his previous relationship and if he has reflected on his involvement in that relationship’s ultimate demise.

4 Open-ended Interest Questions

Focus on asking open-ended questions that will elicit a detailed response other than “yes” or “no.” Instead of asking your date “Do you like to go to the movies?” which will likely result in a “yes” or “no” answer, ask your date something such as “Tell me how you like to unwind,” or “What is your favorite way to spend a long weekend?” These types of questions give your date the opportunity to elaborate on his personal interests. This can also give you insight into his personality and opening up other topics of conversation.

Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi. He has served as a writer and lead video editor for a small, South Louisiana-based video production company since 2007. Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.