How to Get the Women I'm Not Interested in to Leave Me Alone

Tell her face to face that you don't see a romantic future.
... Andrea Morini/Photodisc/Getty Images

There is a fine line to walk between being a good guy and giving a woman you aren’t interested in the wrong impression. Some women may just miss all the appropriate hints and will mistake your kindness for romantic interest. When you find yourself dealing with a clingy woman who simply doesn’t get it, there are a few ways to help her gently face reality.

Keep it brief. When turning someone down, there is no reason to get into elaborate explanations, according to the Mayo Clinic. Make a point of telling her that as great as she is, you just aren’t interested in seeing her romantically.

Look her in the eyes as you tell her you aren't interested in a relationship with her. Text messages and emails can often be misconstrued, but a direct face-to-face conversation is difficult to ignore. Be gentle and sincere, but remain firm as you explain that there is no romantic future for the two of you.

Stick to the truth. Avoid the urge to spare her feelings by watering down your disinterest with excuses. Treat her like an adult by giving her honest answers. Don't try to pretend that you might be interested under different circumstances.

Maintain your distance after you have let her know that you don’t see her in a romantic light. Give her an opportunity to process this information, without popping up randomly in her life as she tries to let go. Continue to be polite and professional if you work or go to school together or run in similar social circles, but otherwise, go out of your way to keep some distance between the two of you.

Remain consistent. If she continues making advances, it is up to you to continue standing your ground. Avoid allowing feelings of guilt to change your position, regardless of how persistent she may be. It can become even more difficult to cut her loose if she feels as though she is receiving mixed signals from you.

Discourage future overtures. Don’t allow her to continue hitting on you while you pretend nothing at all is going on. Remind her of your initial conversation as often as necessary for her to get the hint. You may need to repeat yourself a handful of times before she truly grasps the finality of any romantic possibilities.

  • If she continues making advances, even after you have made yourself perfectly clear, it is possible she may be unstable or obsessed. Consider whether you may need to take out a restraining order to get your point across.

Living in Alaska, Leah Campbell has traveled the world and written extensively on topics relating to infertility, dating, adoption and parenting. She recently released her first book, and holds a psychology degree (with an emphasis in child development and abnormal child psychology) from San Diego State University.