At the beginning of your relationship your boyfriend showered you with gifts and compliments. He's still romantic and sweet but you want to know if your twosome will work in the long-term. Relationship writer and researcher Maya Ackerman PhD. advises that although you want a partner to share sweet moments, you also need a man who can work with you through the less than great times. Look out for concrete signs that tell you that he'll stick by you, through the good and the bad. (ref 1)
He Trusts You
A man who's marriage material doesn't insist on being together 24/7, advises sex and relationship writer and researcher Steph Auteri in the article "Husband Material: 15 Signs You Should Marry Your Boyfriend." Instead, he knows that if you each live your own lives and have your own experiences it's actually healthier for your relationship. He's comfortable with this arrangement precisely because he trusts you and knows that though you still have eyes, you're committed to him. A guy who's husband material never makes you negotiate going to see your family or having a night out with the girls. He understands that the rest of your life is just as important as your life with him.
He Can Communicate
Your relationship won't always be roses. That's why you need a husband who can fight fair. He remains calm and reasonable and looks for solutions such as couples therapy, even if he really doesn't want to go. Ackerman also advises that you should feel free to talk to him. If he makes you uncomfortable for expressing your feelings or opinions, then he's not the man for you. The right guy will encourage you to be yourself and say what's on your mind. When you do confess, he makes you feel safe and comfortable. This shows that he accepts you for you -- an essential element in a long-term partnership.
He Shows That He Cares
A guy who's husband material continually shows he's thinking of you, says Auteri. Perhaps he brings you home your favorite chocolate. Or he makes a point of going to visit your grandfather with you and makes a point of engaging and talking to him. Great future husbands are also those who are willing to contribute to the daily drudgery of keeping up a home. That means helping with the cooking, dishes and cleaning. If you do more than your fair share and then end up having kids together, you're going to end up swamped with even more work. Keep in mind too that if he doesn't help you now he won't change when you get married.
He Supports You
Ideally you will each be able to support yourself financially. But emotionally, he should always have your back (and you his), says Ackerman. Spending your life with a man who believes in you will likely improve your own self-esteem. Even better if he pushes you to follow your dreams. If he insists on standing between you and what you really want, then likely he won't be a good mate. A guy who's game is also a winner. If you decide you're really into rock climbing and despite his fear of heights he decides to accompany you, then he's the one. Plus a guy who's game is willing to take risks in the relationship. This will go miles towards keeping your twosome fresh and exciting.
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