How to Know if He Stopped Loving Me

Even if he doesn't know how to tell you, your boyfriend's unusual behavior could mean that he has stopped loving you.
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Whether you've been blindsided by a breakup in the past or have noticed troubling behavior that makes you suspicious about your boyfriend's feelings, there are ways to tell that he has stopped loving you. The task of figuring out where you stand may have fallen to you because he doesn't know how to articulate his feelings. Keep in mind that some unusual behavior could be a symptom of unrelated personal problems, such as mental illness, as counselor Elly Prior writes in "Warning Signs of a Break Up" on her web site.

1 Loss of Affection

Your partner may not have always been the most demonstrative when it comes to his feelings, but if he's placed his normal affections on hold, it could be a bad sign. His flirty texts may have trickled from occasional to nonexistent, or he may be hypercritical and slow to show gratitude when you are together. This growing irritation could be a sign that he's fallen out of love, as clinical psychologist Susan Heitler writes in her Psychology Today online article "Are You Falling Out of Love? A Quiz on 10 Warning Signs."

2 Withering Communication

Your boyfriend could be shutting you out if he no longer talks to you about what's happening in his life. Think back to the last time you two had a serious conversation about your goals and frustrations at work or with friends and family. If he has been reluctant to share or never initiates these talks, it could be because he no longer feels as close to you, Prior writes.

3 More Time Apart

A measure of independence is important in every relationship, but when your boyfriend spends less time with you, it could be a sign of his changing feelings. It's entirely possible that he needs to spend more time hunched over his desk to catch up on work or studying, but this type of behavior could also be his way of avoiding the difficulties of your relationship. He might insist on more guys' nights out, leaving you in the lurch. When these behaviors become part of a larger pattern, they are a bag sign, according to Prior's article.

4 Lasting Arguments

An argument every now and then is a normal, even healthy, aspect of a relationship. But if your partner picks fights or snaps over simple requests, it could signal bigger problems. A failure to discuss your differences productively could be another bad sign. If he makes borderline emotionally abusive comments about ex partners or other sensitive topics, the situation may be beyond repair, as relationship writer Jen Kim explains in her Psychology Today online article, "6 Signs He's Just Not That Into You."

A graduate of Oberlin College, Caitlin Duke has written on travel and relationships for She has crisscrossed the country several times, and relishes discovering new points on the map. As a credentialed teacher, she also has a strong background in issues facing families today.