What Does It Mean When My Boyfriend Hasn't Texted Me Back in Three Days?

Don't wait by your phone for his response -- go enjoy your other friends instead.
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If you haven't heard from your boyfriend for several days, there may be numerous reasons for his absence. Although it is easy to jump to conclusions about where your boyfriend is and why he hasn't responded to you, there may be a legitimate reason to support his absence. Conversely, being ignored by your boyfriend may also be a sign that there is something going on in the relationship or in his life that he is not comfortable. Examine the situation carefully before drawing your conclusions.

1 Problems With His Phone

Even if this may seem like a long shot, it is entirely possible that your boyfriend misplaced or damaged his phone, preventing him from responding to you. It is also possible that he forgot to pay his bill or had his phone taken away as a punishment and is unable to respond to you at the moment. If this is the case, he may try to reach out to you via another phone, email or through social media. Although it is not an excuse for avoiding you for days on end, your boyfriend may also be preoccupied with work, school, or prepping for the ACT or GRE.

2 You've Recently Had a Fight

If you've recently had a fight, he may be ignoring you and your texts to make a point. Your boyfriend may be ignoring you due to a lack of an apology, or an insincere apology. Psychiatrist Aaron Lazare suggests in his article "Greater Good" that an effective apology must acknowledge your part in the offense, offer an explanation, show signs of remorse and offer a form of restitution. Simply stating "I'm sorry," may not have the same meaning to your boyfriend as "I'm sorry for arguing with you in front of your friends. I didn't mean to insult you and I'll be respectful of how I react in public from now on." Try offering your boyfriend a sincere apology and wait for his response.

3 He's Not Invested

Assuming that your boyfriend is healthy and can easily access his phone, avoiding your texts is not just rude, but it may be an indication that he's not as invested in the relationship as you are. Psychologist Jeremy Nicholson points out in his "Psychology Today" article "Why Nice Guys and Gals Finish Last in Love," that you invest into a relationship by doing nice things for your boyfriend. He also points out that the reverse is not necessarily true, and if your boyfriend in turn is not doing nice things for you, he may feel burdened by your relationship or ungrateful for it.

4 There's Someone Else

Although there are several legitimate reasons for your boyfriend's behavior, there is also the possibility that he is talking to someone else and is either cheating, or contemplating cheating in the foreseeable future. While his lack of response alone is not necessarily incriminating evidence of his betrayal, it could be a red flag and a sign to look out for other cheating behaviors. If in addition to his flighty phone behavior, if he's been moody, distant, suddenly does not want to hang out with you as much or has changed his grooming habits, your boyfriend may be seeing someone on the side.

Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi. He has served as a writer and lead video editor for a small, South Louisiana-based video production company since 2007. Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.