How to Stay Away From Someone Who Is Not Good for You
Making friends and fitting in with your peers is a large part of adolescence and growing into a mature adult. There may be times when you develop strong feelings for someone or begin hanging out with someone who pressures you and steers you in the wrong direction. You may have gotten into trouble with him in the past, and although your gut tells you to stay away from him, you are finding it difficult to end the relationship.
1 Find a Trusted Adult
Feeling annoyed with or misunderstood by your parents is a normal part of growing up. While you may find it difficult to talk to them about what is going on, it may help you to talk to an adult you can trust. For example, a teacher or coach at school might have a better understanding of the various peer groups and interactions among them. He may be able to engage in a conversation about the issue without the risk of a lecture, according to Dr. Steven Richfield, child psychologist, in the article, "Teaching Your Child to Manage Negative Peer Influences."
2 Identify the Attraction
Ask yourself what is attracting you to this person in the first place. Since you already realize that she is not a good influence on you, explore the attraction in light of those reasons. For example, if your parents are having marital issues and you are completely stressed at home, perhaps you are trying to get their attention by dating the most rebellious girl in school. Instead of them noticing your distress, they are lecturing you about who you are hanging out with. If your attraction has more to do with something else in your life, confront that issue directly rather than trying to gain attention in other ways.
3 Recognize Your Strengths
Allow yourself to disengage and find closure with this person before attempting to fill the void with someone or something else, according to Dr. Phil, mental health specialist and daytime talk show host. You may have idolized him even though he was hurtful in many ways. Develop and focus on your own interests, hobbies and schoolwork. Discover what makes you feel good about yourself and engage in those activities on a regular basis.
4 Change Your Thoughts
Juliana Breines, Ph.D., author of the "Psychology Today" article, "How to End a Bad Relationship for Good," recommends re-framing intrusive thoughts and feelings regarding the person until you feel you have a healthy distance from him. For example, if you have managed to stay away from him for a few days and you are tempted to send him a text, tell yourself that you have to finish your homework and call your best friend. You will likely feel a sense of accomplishment and strength later on.
5 Change Your Routine
Enlist the help of your friends to help you to stay away from her. Avoid starting rumors or making her out to be a bad person. She may have different morals and values than you, but that only makes her different from you. Rather than hanging out at the mall where you're likely to run into each other, go to your friend's house instead. Resist temptation by changing up your schedule and focusing on positive friendships that add value to your life and sense of self.