How to Start a Friendship With a Guy

Become a guy's friend by bonding over shared activities.
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Becoming friends with a guy involves knowing what he values in a friendship. Guys like to bond with people through activities and shared challenges. Start slow and don't expect a friendship to develop overnight. When a guy becomes comfortable with you, a natural trust will be born. Be sure to also clear up any misunderstandings before they start -- by telling him up front that you want a friendship and not a relationship.

1 Make Small Talk

Start a friendship with a guy by making small talk so that the two of you get to know each other better, as suggested in the Helpguide article, "How to Make Friends." For example, if the two of you are waiting for band practice to begin, make a comment such as "Big concert we have coming up, isn't it?" If he responds favorably, extend the conversation by asking an open-ended question such as, "What do you like most about playing the tuba?" Seeing each other regularly and making small talk each time will gradually allow you to forge a friendship.

2 Share Personal Details

If a guy tells you something about his personal life, it is an invitation for you to do the same, says sociologist Peter Nardi, as cited in the Reader's Digest article, "The Secrets of Male Friendships." For example, if he shares that he is nervous about playing the solo in the upcoming concert, you can divulge that you suffer stage fright yourself. Be sure that you don't get too personal with what you share, or the lines between friends and dating partners might become blurred. If this is a concern, say something like, "Just to be clear, I really like being friends but I'm not looking for a relationship."

3 Keep Things Equal

Guys also like to keep score when first becoming friends, advises Nardi, so make sure that you are on an even playing field when it comes to making plans. For example, if he agrees to go snowboarding with you, return the favor by accepting his invitation to play video games. Guys like to know that each partner in the friendship is giving and taking an equal amount -- at least when you are first getting to know one another. The advantage of taking turns at favorite activities is that you will also get to know more about each other.

4 Make Plans

It will be hard to keep a friendship going if you aren't making regular plans to see each other. If you think the friendship is ready for it, consider making a standing arrangement, such as agreeing to meet and watch a favorite television show together at the same time each week. Having a standing arrangement will take the work out of making plans and ensures that even when both of you are busy, you will still have a chance to connect.

Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since 2007, specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings. Cuncic holds an M.A. in clinical psychology.