Things to Know About Shy Guys

A shy guy needs time to warm up to new situations.
... David De Lossy/Photodisc/Getty Images

A guy who is shy feels uneasy in new situations and with new people. He may be uncomfortable when meeting strangers, when he is the focus of attention or when he is not sure how to act. However, shy guys have much to offer in terms of friendships and relationships -- as they may be better listeners and more thoughtful than more outgoing peers. Just be sure to go slowly, so you don't scare a guy like this away.

1 Uncomfortable in New Situations

Shy guys are slow to warm up to new situations. They feel self-conscious, nervous and insecure when unsure about what to expect. For example, a shy guy might hesitate to offer small talk at a party when you first meet him. Help to make him feel more comfortable by taking the lead to introduce yourself, suggests psychologist Diana Kirschner on her Love in 90 Days website, and asking open-ended questions to get to know him better. Once he feels more at ease with you, he will be more likely to open up.

2 Hesitates Before Acting

Just as the shy guy is uncomfortable in new situations, he also likes to stick with what is familiar, according to TeensHealth, part of the KidsHealth family of websites. He may prefer to sit on the sidelines and observe everyone else before joining in an activity. Don't push him to move too fast in new situations, or he may crawl back into his shell. Allow him time to become comfortable before he joins the group or participates in what everyone else is doing. For example, if your shy boyfriend joins you at the beach, don't force him to play volleyball with your buddies -- be okay that he just wants to hang at your side for a while.

3 Values Privacy

A guy who is shy values his privacy, psychologist Laurie Helgoe tells When you do ask him questions, be sure not to get too personal at first. Also be careful about sharing too many intimate details about yourself when you first meet him. Start out with easy-to-answer questions such as, "How do you like this class so far?" or "What did you think of that last assignment?" Once you get to know each other better, you can get more personal.

4 Thoughtful and Kind

A shy guy may be an especially good listener, and his sensitivity may make him quite interested in how you feel, asserts TeensHealth. He may also be caring toward others, thoughtful and careful to think before he speaks, says Helgoe. A guy with these attributes is likely to make a good friend or good relationship partner -- especially for the long term.

Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since 2007, specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings. Cuncic holds an M.A. in clinical psychology.