How to Show I Can Change for My Girlfriend

Just not feeling the love?
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Your girlfriend has identified certain things about you that should change, and perhaps you wonder whether this is possible. While human beings are creatures of habit, we possess the ability to change, writes Linda Sapadin, a psychologist, in her article "Can People Really Change?" on Psych Central's website. With self-awareness and determination, you can change those aspects of your lifestyle or personality that your girlfriend finds troubling. If you value your relationship enough to change, you can show your girlfriend that even old dogs can learn new tricks.

1 Taking Steps

The best way to show your girlfriend that you have the potential to change is to actually change. Rather than always talking about how you will change and your plans for change, implement the changes right away. Change doesn't come overnight and your girlfriend should understand that. Change is achieved gradually through proactive steps in the direction of your goals. If you struggle with punctuality, get yourself a new watch or an alarm app for your smartphone. Show her that you are taking steps to achieve the change she desires.

2 Ask for Help

You don't have to feel like you are alone. There are many helpful individuals and institutions that will be able to support you in your goals. If you want to be more responsible with your money, hire a financial adviser or enroll in a class for financial literacy. If it is your temper that has her worried, enroll in an anger management class or go to therapy. If it is your health that concerns her, hire a personal trainer or a registered dietician. If she is repulsed by your filthy apartment, hire a team of cleaning people. Showing that you are willing to humble yourself and ask for help will prove your commitment to change.

3 Making Change

It is possible to appear as though you have changed on the surface, while still having not changed deep down. If you are only making surface-level changes, your girlfriend will likely catch on to this. Change comes from someplace deeper, and you may have to dig a little to find it.

4 Agree on a Deadline

Change should be measurable. If she wants you to lose weight, mutually decide upon a time frame in which you will lose the additional weight. If she's unsatisfied with your income, decide upon a time limit within which you will secure a new job. If she can't stand your roommates, set a date by which you will find a new apartment. This way you will both be able to see how you are progressing on the achievement of your goals.

Parker Janney is a web developer and writer based in Philadelphia. With a Master of Arts in international politics, she has been ghostwriting for several underground publications since the late 2000s, with works featured in "Virtuoso," the "Philadelphia Anthropology Journal" and "Clutter" magazine.