Funny 60th Birthday Sayings

Happy well-worn trails to you, cowboy -- now crack a joke.
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Age is no laughing matter -- or is it? Maybe the best way to deal with the "Big Six-Oh" is to tell a joke at your own expense or to laugh at one. A study published in the "Journal of Aging and Mental Health" revealed that, "coping humor and self efficacy are important factors for explaining health status in older adults." So, look for funny ways to celebrate your 60th birthday and remember that a birthday is always better than the alternative.

1 Put It in Perspective

You've heard the maxims a thousand times: "Age is relative." "You're only as old as you feel." Put age in perspective and a smile on your face with a few simple math equations, and share them with your 60-year-old friends. Your new mottoes may include: "Here's to celebrating the 39th anniversary of your 21st birthday!" or, "Happy Sweet Sixteenth! You're 60 -- that equals 16 degrees Celsius." Alternatively, try, "The older an antique, the more valuable it is -- and you're rapidly approaching priceless." And, "Here's another reason to be glad you're not a French poodle: If each dog year equals seven human years, in dog years, you're dead."

2 Stay in Shape

When the 60-something you know is a gym rat -- or exercise averse -- the playing field is ripe for humor. Enclose a funny card with those gift-wrapped new sneakers. Try punchlines like: "Here's to you -- young at heart, slightly older in other places," or, "Forget jogging around the block; you’ve been around the entire neighborhood a few times." And, "Don't be like grandma, who started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, and we have no idea where she is," or "Happy Birthday, Old Sport! Keep working that gym membership -- the advantage of daily exercise is you die healthier."

3 Paint a Picture

Pablo Picasso, who lived and painted until he was 91, understated advancing age just a little when he said, "One starts to get young at the age of 60, and then it is too late." Visible signs of aging paint their own pictures to be chuckled over, because it's never too late for a card that delivers a laugh. Ageless messages: "At 60, when someone points out you have lipstick on your teeth, you smile because, hey! You have teeth!" and, "Happy Birthday! Here's a little-known truth about aging: your pants creep upward as you get older. By 60, you’re a pair of pants with a head." Keep it light with: "Sorry about the half-lit cake. We put 60 candles on it, but by the time we got to the last one, the first 20 had already burned out.

4 Milestones

You can find moments to treasure at every age. By 60, you can use a few reminders to appreciate the milestones. Fortunately, you have friends who will never let you forget them, with side-splitting cards intended to inspire a chuckle -- or just rub it in. Like these: "Congratulations! Now you get carded again -- to prove you're old enough for senior discounts," or "Happy 60th, Boomer! Time to put all those tie-dye T-shirts, Beatles albums, lava lamps and bell bottoms in the Goodwill box." Try these on for a smile: "Turning 60? That's no reason to be blue -- hair included," and, "Now that you're 60, I can reveal the ancient secret to looking younger and thinner: hang around some really old, fat people."

Benna Crawford has been a journalist and New York-based writer since 1997. Her work has appeared in USA Today, the San Francisco Chronicle, The New York Times, and in professional journals and trade publications. Crawford has a degree in theater, is a certified Prana Yoga instructor, and writes about fitness, performing and decorative arts, culture, sports, business and education .